“I’m okay. You?”
“Never better.” I laugh. I’m not having much luck brushing the sand off my shirt, so I pull it off over my head and toss it in the corner of the tent. Bri’s eyes widen when they land on my chest. The boots come off next and end up next to the dirty shirt.
Bri brushes the sand off her arms and legs then goes to work on taming her knotted hair. Fascinated, I watch as she combs her fingers patiently through, working section by section.
“Have you seen my hair tie? Are you sitting on it?” she asks.
I shift forward and look under me and don’t see anything. I pat my hands all over the floor of the tent looking for her hair tie. I look under my shirt and boots while she searches her side of the tent.
“I don’t see it,” I say reluctantly.
“Fuck.”
Defeated, she hunches and sinks farther down to the ground. Her face crumples and she bites her lower lip, keeping it between her teeth. It takes me a minute to realize what’s happening: she’s crying.
She sniffs and rubs her wrist across her face.
“Bri.”
“It’s nothing. I really needed that hair tie,” she says and more tears pour from her. “It’s just a hair tie. It’s not a big deal. I don’t even know why I’m crying.” She hiccups and hides her face from me with her hands.
I scoot up next to her and pull her hands away. “It’s okay. I’ll go find it.”
“No. It’s gone. I’ll be fine,” she says and I see a wall come up over her face. The one that is stronger than I thought possible, and I hate it. I prefer when she lets her guard down. She let me in for a brief second, then put the wall back up.
“Whatever you need, it’s yours.”
“Knock it off. You sound like the brethren.” She laughs between sniffles and pushes playfully at my chest.
“You’ve been through a lot. If you need a hair tie, then I’ll find it.” I search for the softness I got such a short glimpse of. I know it’s in there somewhere.
“I have been through a lot.” The tears start falling again. This time I pull her to my chest and hold her against me. Her body goes rigid for a second before relaxing into me, letting me support her.
I rub my hands up and down her back, comforting her and letting her cry it out. After seeing Bri stay strong this whole time, watching her in awe as she’s handled every single thing that has come her way, I’m glad I get to be the one she lets in. The one she trusts enough to fall apart around.
“Does the hair tie have important human significance?” I ask.
She laughs through her tears. “No, not at all. It was my only one. It was the straw that broke the camel's back.”
“You’re going to need to explain that one to me.” I keep rubbingher back, worried that if I stop, she’ll pull away. “I know what a camel is. How could a straw break its back?”
“It means someone can cope with a lot of tiny things, but after a while they pile up and get heavy, and eventually the last straw becomes too much, and it breaks the camel’s back.”
It crushes my heart that she feels this way. She has been carrying a lot. All on her own, never once asking for help. Something inside me comes to life at the thought of being the one to help carry her burdens.
“You’re stronger than any Tilak I’ve ever met, but you aren’t alone. I’m here. Let me help you.” I was hoping to make her smile, but instead, she sobs into my chest again.
“Thank you, Tai.”
She pulls away from me far too soon. She straightens her dress and uses the hem to dry her tears.
I grab my shirt, rip off a strip of fabric, and twist it up. It’s a poor substitute for the hair tie that means so much to her.
“Here, try this.” I hand it over.
She pats down the tangles, pulls her hair back and ties it off.
With nothing left to do, and now feeling incredibly awkward about staring at her, I lie down and stare at the ceiling, watching it billow from the sand and wind above.
