“You’re not cross about what I did?” I asked quietly.
“I am more relieved, my darling. Your reputation and future could have been irreparably harmed.” She exhaled. “But the truth is women have been disrupting the patriarchy for centuries, whether by pretending to be men or assuming male pseudonyms or publishing anonymously.”
My mind was spinning as I considered what I had learned. Honestly, had I been so consumed with my own life that I had ignored what was right in front of me? Mama and I were quite similar, despite our occasional divergences, like fashion. And she’d never discouraged me from following my interests. In fact, the only time we had ever clashed was over the subject of marriage.
“Mama, may I ask you a personal question? Did you love Papa when your marriage was arranged?”
Her smile was warm. “No, but we were great rivals.”
I blinked. That wasnotwhat I’d been expecting her to say. “Rivals?”
“When we were young, our families were neighbors. We had a fierce competition for any of the prizes awarded in the monthly journals to solve mathematical or philosophical problems. He won some, I won others.” She stood and walked to the bay window that looked out to the street. “After a while, our families decided that the only way we would stop reviling each other was if we got married. And so, we did.” Her mouth quirked. “I love him now.”
“Do you think Papa still plans to marry me off to someone?”
She crossed the room to where I was sitting and perched on the sofa beside me. “We only want you to be secured with apartner who can provide for you. Hardship is not something either of us desire for you, though your dowry will stand you in good stead.”
“What if I found someone, but he’s not titled or wealthy?” I asked.
Her head canted. “Your young gentleman? The one your father went to help?” She paused. “Do you care for him?” my mother asked quietly, and when I nodded jerkily, she patted my knee. “And does he return your affections?”
The truth was, even after our last kiss, I didn’t know. And there was no time to ponder a reply before the butler announced the duke’s return. I flew up, nerves trembling as Papa and Ansel entered the foyer, followed by my weary, disheveled, cherished tutor.
“Tarik!” I was so happy to see him unhurt and safe that I threw myself into his arms, likely scandalizing my parents and my cousin. Tarik, however, had enough restraint to keep me from embarrassing us both as he returned a brief squeeze but set me back on my feet a respectable distance away.
My father took my mother’s hand, brushing his lips over her knuckles. “Dinner and then we will talk.” He glanced pointedly at Tarik. “You too, young man. You can wash up in one of the guest rooms. My nephew will show you the way.”
I wanted to go with him desperately, but I had to respect the rules of etiquette, even though I had been flouting them so shamelessly for the past three months, from the start of April through to June. A single Easter term that had felt like a lifetime.
Instead of following behind, I went to my own chambers tochange, fussing when Anna insisted on tending to my hair, but the repeated brushstrokes calmed my frazzled nerves. I met her eyes in the mirror as she stood behind me, pinning my slippery locks into intricate loops. “Thank you, Anna. I’ll make sure that my parents know you played no willing part in my deception. Your job is safe.”
“I know, my lady,” she murmured. “I did want to tell you though that your bravery to follow your dreams inspired me to follow mine. I submitted my first piece of poetry to a contest in a periodical.” She grinned. “And I won! Five whole pounds! And it will be printed in the next issue. I will be a published poet.”
I spun in my chair. “Oh my goodness, Anna, that is wonderful!”
Her mouth made a wry curl. “So, it wasn’t all bad. I wanted you to know that.”
When she was finished, I smoothed my favorite cobalt-blue dress, which matched the lapis lazuli hue of Tarik’s eyes, adjusted my gloves, and made my way downstairs to the dining room, where Tarik and my cousin were waiting. My mother was off tucking Bowen into bed—she loved reading him stories, too, a task most aristocratic mothers didn’t do. One more thing we were both lucky for, I supposed.
“Lady Rosalin, you look lovely,” Tarik said, strolling forward to take my white-gloved hand.
I blushed. “Thank you, so do you.”
He had changed as well—Ansel must have sent a messenger to wherever Tarik had been staying to retrieve fresh clothing. I recognized the navy ensemble as one he had been fitted for,remembering how well the color suited his rich complexion. The ends of his hair were still curled and wet from a bath.
“Was it awful at the Magistrates’ Court? What did they ask you?” I inquired in a hushed voice.
“Nothing, especially once I told them the Duke of Delmont would be arriving soon.”
I stared quizzically at him. “You knew I’d send my father?”
“Roz,” he said softly, making my silly heart quicken. “You adore your father, even if you loathe his stringency. Because your tenacity comes from him. I knew you would ask him for help when you needed it most.”
My brows dipped. “Buthowdid you know? What if my pride and stubborn nature didn’t allow it?”
“You would never let your pride stop you from helping a friend,” he said firmly, and I flushed with pleasure at the praise. “And nothing you say will convince me otherwise. By the way, Lord Ansel also informed me of what was going on at Trinity, and my old friend James’s accusations.”
“What will you do?” I asked, just as my parents appeared. “And James is a louse.”
