“And your gentleman tutor wasn’t in the running?” Ela asked frowning. “Or have I misread this entire situation somehow?”
“He’s a commoner,” I said quietly. “The thing is…we fabricated his origins so he could make some acquaintances to help him get started on his brilliant idea of a social club where men and women would be equally welcomed. The pedigree falsehoods were my idea, not his. No one would take him seriously if he wasn’t alreadysomeoneof influence.” I huffed. “We might be powerful, but we are as shallow as a puddle in the height of summer.”
Blake sat up, his expression thoughtful. “I liked St. Clair’s proposal. I thought it was well thought-out, and if he had the proper financials, it could be a windfall for everyone involved. Nothing like it exists in London. Not White’s, Boodle’s, Danforth’sDen, or any of the others. Ridley and Nasser liked the concept as well,” Blake went on. “It doesn’t matter to us what his lineage is. I’m only speaking for myself, of course.”
“Blake’s right,” Ela said. “Keston would likely care about the odds of success, growth, and measurable returns.”
Zia nodded, eyes shining with excitement. “Rafi, too. And he has more than enough money to invest in anything that takes his fancy…ormine.And what a brilliant idea, not just financially. Think of the doubled membership by adding women, but also accessibility for our sex to participate in intellectual discussions. Can you imagine attending a literary discussion with Mary Shelley at the forefront? I would positivelydie.” She pretended to swoon, and we all smiled, knowing her singular obsession with said author. “I hardly think his lack of a title would matter in this case.”
Nodding fervently, Blake demolished another bun and patted his stomach. “Besides, your boy is supposedly on track to become a bloodyFellowat Trinity College. I’m quite sure that means he’s already outclassing half thetonin intelligence.”
I bit my lip. He wasn’tmyboy.
“He is a genius,” I said through a tight throat.
Dejection hit me like a tidal wave again. Was he thinking about me?Missingme the way I was missing him? Everything felt surreal, like I was dreaming or imagining it all. Maybe I would wake up and get in the carriage to go back to Trinity the next morning, and everything would be back to normal.
But that wasn’t true. Icouldn’tgo back there. Not as a woman anyway. And it wasn’t just Tarik and me; Will and the twins knew now as well.
Secrets had a way of coming out…
And the truth was I’d already lost Tarik enough opportunities and prospects. I wouldn’t want to jeopardize his future at the college, if word were to get out. I’d had Anna scouring the newssheets and the gossip rags, but by some miracle, no one had written about the daughter of the Duke of Delmont dressing like a boy to attend university. But perhaps it was only a matter of time. There was speculation, of course, that I’d cavorted with a footman or spurned one of my suitors, which was why my father had seemed so furious at our ball.
A rap on the door had us all twisting around to see who it was as Anna answered. Mama entered the room in a swish of emerald skirts, and everyone immediately snapped to attention. The duchess had a way of doing that. She wasn’t alone either. Dr. Barker, our family physician, followed in her wake.
“Your Grace,” my friends murmured, as my mother canted her head in greeting, her eyes darting to me where I sat nibbling a half-eaten bao.
“Good, you’re finally up, hái zi.”
I gulped at her soft voice. The fact that she was calling mechildin Chinese was indicative of her unusually frazzled state of mind. “Yes, Mama.”
“Dr. Barker is here to have a look at you. When you weren’t eating properly, I was worried. He’ll see you in your chamber.”
The doctor followed as I rose and padded obediently to the bedroom, accompanied by Anna, who stood by the closed door as chaperone. I perched on an armchair near the window as he opened his bag and pulled out his instruments.
“May I inspect your heart and lungs?” Dr. Barker asked in his high-pitched voice, and I gave my consent. It was something I’d always liked about him. He asked every time, which was uncommon. Most male doctorsdidn’task for permission before they examined a patient. He lifted a stethoscope—a hollow wooden-and-brass tube resembling a telescope that I instantly wanted to study—in his delicately boned hands and placed the conical end to my back and the smaller end to his ear. He listened for a moment and then moved it lower. “Can you inhale for me, please?” When I complied, he listened again and then nodded. “And exhale. Good. When did you last eat?”
“I had a bit of bao when you arrived,” I said. “But not much.”
“Do you have pains when eating?”
I shook my head. “No, it’s not that. I’m just not hungry.”
He continued to check my eyes, my throat, and my ears before sitting back. I observed his face as he checked my pulse and temperature. At such close proximity, Dr. Barker’s smooth chin and jaw were exceptionally clean-shaven…as innotshaven at all. His nose was large and his lips quite thin, but he certainly did not have the typical facial stubble of a man.
“The duchess said there was an incident with a young gent, and you might have caught a chill in the rain, but your lungs are clear.” He paused, studying my wan face. “The mind, by way of the heart, can certainly have an impact on the body,” he said as he closed his bag. “You need to keep yourself nourished, my lady, which means eating a balanced, healthy diet.”
“I understand.” I stared at him and felt an odd burst of admiration for everything he’d accomplished, every hurdle he’d soaredover, and every obstacle he’d faced. Because he’d triumphed in the face of adversity and was living life according to his own terms. I admired that. If we could all live so authentically, people would be so much happier. Alas, not everyone had the means or the forbearance to do so, especially in an unforgiving world.
“Thank you, Dr. Barker.”
“You’re very welcome, my lady.”
After the physician took his leave, I padded back into the antechamber, where he was speaking to my mother as they both left the room. She seemed lighter, which was a relief. I didn’t want to cause her undue worry. I sent a reassuring glance to my friends and resumed my meal, making more of an effort to finish it. Their concerned gazes, however, did not relent.
“I promise I am fine,” I said.
“Good,” Ela and Zia chorused.
