My hands flew to my face, and finding only smooth, uncrusted skin, I let out a curse. “You’re the worst!”
I turned in my bed to meet those glacial amber eyes that glittered in an unsmiling countenance. Zia scrutinized me and placed her hands on her hips. She was a force to be reckoned with on a regular day. Today, she embodied a cyclone bearing down on me without remorse or mercy. I was too tired to argue, but the truth was I’d grown sick of my own company.
Gingerly, I hobbled out of bed while Ela and Zia made themselves comfortable in the small sitting salon adjacent to my private chambers, and I glowered at Anna. “Turncoat.”
Anna’s smile was spare as she led me into the bathing chamber to the steaming bath. “Turncoat or not, my lady, you needed help. I was worried that your deep, incurable melancholy would send you to the lunatic asylum for hysteria, but then I realized I would never be so lucky to finally be rid of you.” She sniffed dramatically.
“You love me,” I said.
For once, she had no scathing retort, which made me falter. “And you should be glad I do, my lady. Anyone else would have left you to rot in your own putrescence.”
I let out a horrified giggle. That was an impressive word choice, but it did not surprise me. Anna also loved to read, though her tastes ran to novels and verse instead of textbooks. For a second, I wondered if, like me, she’d had any dreams of education beyond becoming a lady’s maid. She was obsessed with poems and usually carried around a notebook that she scribbled in. Maybe when Tarik finished his club, a woman like her might be welcomed for poetry discussions.
My heart clenched at the thought of him. He hated me—not just for lying to him but for ruining his chance to secure investors for his own social club. My already-swollen eyes stung, the pressure behind the bridge of my nose building. Deuce it, I wasdonecrying!
Don’t think about him.
I inhaled a handful of bolstering breaths as I stepped into the soothing, warm rose-and-vanilla scented water. With a sigh, I leaned back as Anna washed my greasy hair, combing through the tangles with a gentle hand. She might be frustrated with me and have an unnaturally sharp tongue, but she was never cruel.
“There, doesn’t that feel better?” she asked, after she’d lathered my locks and rinsed them clean. “Now let’s get you up and moving. I told Cook to make your favorite steamed buns.”
The thought of food, for once, didn’t make my stomach roll. Instead, it rumbled.
After I dressed in a soft navy day gown, with my hair left loose over my shoulders to dry, I joined my friends in the antechamber. Zia was in the process of stuffing an entire steamed bun into her mouth, practically moaning at the flavor of the sweet pork filling.
“Those are mine,” I said petulantly.
She rolled her eyes. “Thought you were on a hunger strike, which means these are for public consumption.”
“Don’t make me fight you, Zia,” I warned, having had enough of her incessant needling.
She grinned. “Youwant to fightme?”
“If you steal my food, I am going to have to teach you a lesson,” I threatened. “You’re not the only one who has been learning things in secret.”
“There she is,” Zia crooned. “I was wondering where our friend had gone, cowering and hiding in her room like a little mouse when Ela and I both know you are anything but, even if you play the part of the demure, obedient lady so exceptionally well.”
I knew why she was goading me, of course. She wanted to make me vexed enough to feel something more than numbness. Perhaps she understood more than she was letting on. Both she and Ela had had their share of tribulations, especially when it came to the gentlemen they chose. But sadly, it wasn’t the same. There was no way Tarik would ever forgive or trust me again.
Heavy of heart, I approached my friends and sat in one of the plush armchairs, reaching for a plump bao and tucking my knees beneath me. “I wasn’t cowering. I was…”
“Hurting,” Ela said softly. “I understand that all too well. Our circumstances are somewhat similar. When I thought I’d lost Keston by pretending to be Lyra, I felt helpless.” She exhaled roughly as if the thought of what had nearly come to pass was much too painful to remember. “But you’re stronger than you know, Rosalin. We all are.”
“I’m not as strong as the two of you,” I murmured. “You both won the loves of your lives. Rafi turned out to be the rock you needed, Zia, and Keston loved you enough to forgive you, Ela, because deep down, he always knew who you truly were. You both have your happy endings while I’ll probably be betrothed to Bentley or Renton within the month.” I couldn’t keep the morose expression from my face. “And Tarik hates me.”
The sound of his name on my lips felt like knives through my chest.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Zia asked.
There was nothing on earth that would make mewantto talk about him, and yet, I knew I should. Somehow, I had to purge all the chaotic feelings that were rioting inside me, and who better to tell than my friends? They were here forme,not because they had nothing better to do. I opened my mouth, just as my bedchamber door crashed open.
“You better be decently attired,” Blake drawled, right before walking in like he owned the place. My cousin followed on his heels with an exasperated look.
“Honestly, we all know he’s an uncouth boor,” Ansel said by way of apology.
Blake grinned and sprawled on the sofa, kicking one leg outand immediately stuffing a whole bun into his mouth. “Mmm, so good. Can we get more of these? Where’s my darling Anna? Can we have Cook make some more?” he called out. “I know you’re lurking in here somewhere, protecting the questionable virtue of this degenerate pretender!”
Anna appeared, thank goodness, though she went pink at Blake’s overly flirtatious gaze. Lord, was no one safe? Anna was betrothed to Henry for goodness’ sake. She still shot Blake a smile and practically skipped off to do his bidding.
