“No, I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “I just got caught up in—”
“It’s okay.” Kate rubbed his shoulder and swallowed a sob. “I’m just not feeling well.”
She found surprising comfort in saying it because she wasn’t lying to him or herself. Though she hated how rare those moments were beginning to feel.
The End of Junior Year
Despite not making the national tournament, the Insley Eagles posted one of their best softball records that junior season. For the first time in a decade, the team won the conference championship and made a historic run through regionals. Individually, Kate and Abby won top honors. Abby broke school and conference records for home runs and RBIs, Kate made academic all-American for the second year in a row, and they both secured first team all-conference honors.
It gave them plenty to celebrate at the spring awards banquet. Each year, the softball, baseball, and lacrosse teams, tennis stars, and track athletes gathered at the Columbia Crest Golf Club. It was a rare night of opulence for a school that hadn’t updated uniforms or fields in five years, but a generous booster had a connection with the country club and a nephew who ran hurdles, so the Eagles dusted themselves off for a night of hors d’oeuvres and chandeliers.
The junior fivesome of course had mixed views on the event.
“It’s a crock of shit,” Mick said as she lounged on the couch the week before.
T.K. rolled her eyes. “You just say that because you hate wearing dresses.” She spun around in a yellow ball gown, flipping hair off her shoulder. “How about this one?”
“That’s the one,” Abby said.
T.K. glared. “You said that about the last three.”
“Yeah, because I want this to end.”
Kate couldn’t resist a laugh, glancing up from her book to meet Abby’s smile. She gulped from the beanbag in the corner. A deliberate choice, like every one as of late, to keep space between them. And while it was easier with classes over and the softball season finished, it was also harder because Kate missed her. When Abby showed up at the blue house that afternoon, she was so thrilled that she had to steady herself on the doorframe.
“What are you wearing?” T.K. asked.
Kate pulled her eyes away from Abby, who she swore hadn’t stopped staring since she arrived. “Who? Me?”
“Yes.”
“I have a black dress.”
“The one you wore last year?” T.K. asked.
“And the year before,” Jill said before striking a pose in the flowing lace high priestess gown she planned to wear.
Kate blushed.
“Here. Try one of mine.” T.K. pulled her dress off, never self-conscious, and chucked it at her.
“No thanks,” Kate said.
“Fine, be boring.”
Even if Kate cared about clothes, she rarely had extra money to spend on them. Usually, she wouldn’t have been embarrassed by it if it weren’t for Abby. Though that quickly went away too, when she caught her smirking, as if it were an admirable quality and not inherent lameness.
“Mick, we need to find something for you,” T.K. said as she reappeared in a short tube dress that looked better suited for a club.
“I don’t want to.” Mick threw her head back like an angry child.
Abby groaned. “Then don’t. Just wear what you want.”
Mick furrowed her brow as if it never occurred to her as an option. The four of them stared at her, and Kate swore they witnessedthe wheels churning: the moment when Mick, who’d come out long ago but never quite settled into her own skin, rejected everything that no longer aligned with her. Chopping off most of her hair that year had been a start, but this felt different. Or maybe it was just Kate who noticed, while she too wondered if everything pressed upon her still aligned.
“What do you want, Mick? A suit and tie? Your uniform? Your stupid pajamas?” Abby leaned back on the couch and laced her hands behind her head like she couldn’t care less. “Just let me know and I’ll wear the same, idiot.”
And that’s how Abby and Mick ended up in slacks and shirts instead of dresses that night. Mick wore a bow tie—which would become her signature for years to come—while Abby sported a necktie so loose it looked like she’d stumbled out of a bar after a ten-hour day on Wall Street. It was typical Abby—casual, cool, and uncaring. And yet Kate knew what she’d silently done for Mickwascaring, which made it all the more endearing. All the more attractive too, though Kate didn’t think it possible.
