Clara had told her she had to trust herself. She hadn’t done it when she should have, back when Zack proposed and everything in Daisy had said, “No thank you,” she should have listened. She didn’t know how to then, but she did now. Her body started buzzing with adrenaline, her arms and legs fizzing as one word started screaming at her on repeat. One word, in a voice she finally recognized. Her own.
Run.
Daisy slowed and tugged at Dan’s arm, and he glanced down at her, tilting his head toward her.
“You okay?”he mouthed.
Daisy shook her head, slowly.
He sighed, but she saw a slight smile on his face. He picked her hand up off his arm and squeezed it in his, and she pulled it away. Before any logical part of her could tell her to stop, she was running toward Zack. Zack, who was now half smiling because she was picking up speed, and half not, because she was picking up speed.
“I’m so sorry,” she said as she passed him, reaching for the cage behind him and opening the door so the doves burst out and up into the sky, wings flapping, faces toward the clouds.Be free. Be happy and free.
There was a gasp from the congregation and a single clap that rang out into the air, everyone unsure whether it was part of the ceremony or not.
“What’s—” Zack started to say in a voice filled with nervous laughter, but Daisy was already moving toward Tom whose camera was back at his face, the cord of it around his neck.
She reached him, pushing the camera down to his chest as she grabbed for his other hand, the same way she had all those months ago at the bus stop. Looking her directly in the eye, he nodded once and she pulled at his fingers before she turned away from the altar, running.
She felt Tom’s grip tighten around her hand as they burst past Dan and then Clara, still waiting in the aisle, mouths wide open as they watched it all unfold.
“Yes, girl!” Clara whispered loudly after them, but Daisy could only just hear it as mumbles erupted from the wedding guests behind them, and nothing from Zack at all.
She flung open the double doors that opened up into the garden and ran back across the reception of the hotel, her shoes clattering loudly against the tiles as she moved toward the automatic doors, charging at them and bursting out onto FrithStreet. It was already a dusky light outside as Daisy turned left, still pulling Tom who quickly fell into step beside her, his hand clasping hers tight.
“Daisy...” he started, but everything in her told her to keep running, as far as she could, and so she did. The moment she began to move, she couldn’t stop. Her feet, until that very moment in life entirely useless and unresponsive to any suggestion of a run, took off as though it were the first time they’d ever been asked. She pushed through crowds gathered near Soho Square, and up toward Tottenham Court Road. It wasn’t easy, to start with. The cream Kurt Geiger heels had clearly never been meant to move at more than an elegant gliding pace before, but they committed with the little they had, sharp heels cracking against the pavement.
Once they were far enough away from the hotel, Daisy slowed, reaching down to her feet one by one and tearing the shoes off, throwing them behind her. She saw Tom beside her, still running, still holding onto her hand as he shook his head and started to laugh, shoulders bouncing and eyes glistening as his shirt spread open at the collar, the top two buttons undone. People everywhere were pulling out their phones, filming and taking photos as they cut up Rathbone Place, hand in hand.
Daisy started laughing too then, flinging her head upward toward the sky, so sure, for a second, that she saw the doves up there, finally free, before she noticed the gray of the clouds. The rain drops that started falling.
They reached the corner beyond Charlotte Street, turning right and onto a side street close to Daisy’s work as the rain began to fall harder. She slowed, Tom changing his pace to match hers.
Daisy’s laugh morphed into more of a sob and Tom pulled her into him, stopping in the middle of the pavement to hold her against his heaving chest as he smoothed her hair.
Daisy felt heavy droplets of rain against her neck, sliding down beneath her dress and she pulled away to see Tom’s shirt was soaked both from rain and her tears, its color changed as it clung tightly to his chest, his skin visible beneath it. She looked up, smiling, into his face, his hand still resting in hers. He looked behind him, pulling them both into the doorway that was slightly sheltered.
“So much rain...” Daisy started singing to the tune of Alanis Morissette, her eyes filling with tears.
“On yournon-wedding day,” Tom sung back gently, resting his head against hers.
Her throat was thick as she took in his expression. His eyes blazing, staring at her in wonder, his lips parted. She was sure there were cars passing behind them and people walking on the same pavement, but everything but the two of them was a distant hum, barely recognizable in the background.
“Say it again,” she said, her voice soft as he continued to stare down at her, amusement now dancing in his eyes, his wet hair mussed by the rain.
“Which part?”
“All of it,” she said. “All of it, now that I’m no longer about to get married to another man. I want to hear it. I want to really,reallyhear it.”
His eyes sparkled, lit up under the little light above their heads. “You always do,” he said. “You always want to hear what I have to say.”
It was true. Even when it had shocked or pained her, she had held on to every word. She nodded. “I do,” she said, looking down and catching sight of her body pressed against his. “And that’s the only time I’ll be saying those two words while in this dress,” she added, and they both started laughing again, chests shaking as Tom reached up and pushed a strand of hair away from Daisy’s face, tucking it behind her ear, his thumb restingagainst her cheek as his other hand made its way onto her waist, pulling her closer to him.
“I am completely and utterly in love with you,” he said, staring straight into her eyes as a lump formed in Daisy’s throat, her heartbeat pounding against her chest. “I could see you every day or not at all. It doesn’t seem to matter. You’re just...”
Daisy couldn’t wait any longer. She reached up for his face, one hand moving to rest at the back of his head, her fingers lacing into his hair as she pulled him down toward her, lips parting as he tipped his head to meet her.
Warmth flooded through her body as Tom rested his lips gently on hers, kissing her softly, pressing himself into her before drawing slowly away. “You’re in me, Daisy, all the time,” he whispered, and then he leaned back in, parting her lips with his as his hand slid upward from her waist, brushing the side of her breast, held tightly in place by her wedding dress. His breath was hot against her.
