The door opened as Tom’s heart was thrust into his throat. It turned out he needn’t have worried about how he presented himself to Martha, because she couldn’t see him.
He jumped into the back of the ambulance, taking in his little sister lying down on a bed with a mask over her face and machines beeping around her as she wheezed, her chest rising up and down faster than it normally would. Tom looked quickly between the machines and the medical staff and Martha.
“It’s under control,” one of the two paramedics said. She had Martha’s hand in hers and she nodded toward it, inviting Tomover. He swallowed, biting hard on his top lip. “Come on,” he muttered, moving his shoulders about. He had to shake the panic out of his body before he could sit.
“Martha, it’s Tom,” he said, taking her hand and sandwiching it between his. He made himself look at her, because he knew that if he didn’t, it might upset her. Her dark brown curly hair was in waves around her head and the mask she was wearing was filling with steam and then disappearing again, her shoulders lifting up and down with each breath. Her eyes were open wide and she was staring straight at him. “You’re okay,” he said, nodding. “I’m here. We’re in this together, okay?”
Martha nodded and he felt her fingers move within his hand.
“I’ve never seen you have one of these before,” Tom said. “But I imagine it was quite frightening. But now you don’t have to be afraid, because everyone is helping you.” Tom looked around to have that confirmed. “And I would never let anything happen to you because—and I think you know this but I’m going to tell you anyway, just in case—you are my absolute favorite person in the whole world.” Tom wasn’t sure, but he thought he saw her roll her eyes. “The day that Dad called me and told me that I had a little sister was the best day of my life. I came to the hospital and you were this balled up angry little red thing that was screaming nonstop, and you know what? The second they put you in my arms, you stopped crying. Because I think I’m probably your favorite person too, but we won’t tell your mum and dad.” Her eyes had fluttered closed by then, her hand slack in his as her chest moved rhythmically up and down.
As though she’d heard it, the doors opened again and Laura came bursting into the back of the ambulance, eyes wild and hair stuck up in a way Tom had never seen before. Immediately he stood up and moved so that Laura could sit beside Martha.
“Is she okay?”
“It’s under control,” Tom said, nodding.
“She’s asleep now,” one of the paramedics said. “It’s good for her.”
“Oh thank God.” Laura burst into tears and Tom looked around, seeing if anyone was going to help comfort her, but the two paramedics were busy looking at one of the machines and surveying a chart.
Tom closed his eyes for a second and sidestepped toward Laura, moving to put an arm around her. He went to pat her shoulder but she reached up with her hand and took his in it, squeezing it tight and not letting go.
“Thank you,” she said, “so much for being here for her. I missed the call. I was—”
“Of course,” Tom said. “I’ll always be here. Whenever she needs me.”
Laura bit down on her lip. “I know,” she said. They both looked at Martha, who was breathing normally now, in and out, her eyes closed. “And I know you think I’m too over the top with her sometimes, but I’m just so scared, Tom. If anything ever happened to her...”
Tom shook his head. “I get it,” he said softly. “I get it now.”
Laura released her hand and patted his, before dropping hers into her lap.
“She should sleep for a while now, if you need to go. If you’ve got plans with Sophie or whatever.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Tom said. “Even if I had plans, I’d stay, but I don’t. Sophie and I...” He coughed. “We broke up. Again.”
Laura looked across at Tom, who was standing close to Martha’s head. “I’m really sorry,” she said. “And I’m sorry if I interfered and if you’d have preferred that she didn’t tell you, but it didn’t feel like an honest path forward. And you deserved honesty. Everyone deserves honesty.”
Tom frowned, none of the words making sense to him. “What do you mean?” he asked. “Preferred she didn’t tell me what?”
Tom had never, until now, watched all the blood drain from someone’s face. Within a couple of seconds Laura’s complexion was as pale as Martha’s, her eyes wide.
“Wait,” she said. “You said you broke up? Why?”
“It just wasn’t right. It’s like we got back together and we just... we didn’t fit anymore.” He glanced at Martha. “I couldn’t see where all the pieces used to go. She didn’t make me laugh. I’m not sure we liked or cared about the same things. I knew almost immediately that things felt different, but sometimes it takes wise little Martha to quote Barbie at you for you to truly...” He shook his head. “What should she have told me?”
“Look...” Laura glanced down at her hands, her shoulders rolling back as she breathed in. “Sophie did something she shouldn’t have done... Before you broke up the last time. She got really drunk and slept with a girl in thatawfulplay she was in. She called me straight after. She was in bits.” Laura met Tom’s eyes, begging him for forgiveness as though it were her who had done it. Tom swallowed, his teeth clenched together as he pulled at his top lip remembering that photo of Sophie that he’d found on his phone and zoomed in on. The one he’d taken the day before she ended things, where she was crying in their bed. It finally made sense as to why.
“I went to your place straight away. She was upset but trying to convince herself that it wasn’t really cheating. That you probably wouldn’t even mind, because it was with a woman, and so she didn’t need to tell you. I disagreed. I told her that of course it would matter to you...”
“Of courseit matters to me,” Tom said at the same time, biting down on his thumb. “How could she think that?” So many thoughts raced through his head. This changed everything, butthen it was over anyway, so did it really? They weren’t right, whether she’d cheated on him or not, but knowing that she had made him extra glad he’d broken up with her when he did. “So that’s why you were at our house?” he asked. “I saw you. I saw you leaving, on The Worst Day...” He glanced toward Martha and back. “I thought you were the reason she broke up with me.”
Laura’s eyebrows knitted in the middle. “What? Why?”
“I thought you thought she was too good for me. That she could do better. That maybe you’d encouraged her to end things.”
“My God no, Tom. Of course I didn’t think that, why would I? Quite the opposite, in fact, especially once she told me what she did. When she was such a coward about telling you. But I figured she’d at least ended things, so perhaps that was her way of being brave. She didn’t know how to admit it to you, but at least she didsomething, you know? Then at the exhibition she told me how much she missed you, how she wanted you back, and I said in that case she had to tell you the truth. I mentioned it again at Christmas. I just presumed she’d finally said something.”
