Tom saw it. The way Sophie’s shoulders dropped with relief, even as her eyes filled with tears.
“I don’t know why either,” she said, biting down on her lip. “I wish we could. I thought it could be different this time.”
“It’s okay,” Tom said, walking over to her. He couldn’t believe, all these months later, that it was him comforting her through their breakup. He sat down next to her and took her hands in his. “Thank you for trying again. I think I needed it to understand. But I do now and it’s okay,” he said gently, moving his head so he could meet her eyes, so she could see that he really meant it.
“I’m so sorry,” she said.
“Please don’t be sorry.” He reached his thumb up and wiped her tears away. “You never need to apologize for following your heart. I should have done it more.”
A sad smile formed on Sophie’s face. “You’re all heart, you fool,” she said, and Tom could see that she’d be alright. That they both would be. He hadn’t felt that at all last time. He’d felt tied to her, as though he could never be free from her. Finally he felt so very separate from Sophie and he had thought that if that ever happened it would be the end of him, but he was starting to realize it might just be the beginning.
“I think maybe I am,” he said. “And thankGod,” he added as she turned to him.
“What?”
“I will absolutely come and see your show,” Tom said. “But thankGodI don’t have to readHamlet.”
Sophie rolled her eyes, shoving him. Then she stood up and smoothed down her jeans, walking toward his front door. The front door that used to be theirs.
“Well I think that will hands down be the weirdest breakup I’ve ever had.”
Tom smiled. “Same. Or for both our sakes, I hope so.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Daisy
“Aaaaah,” Clara said, letting out a sigh. “This is the life.”
They were side by side on sun loungers and Daisy reached across to the table between them, lifting a glass to sip on one of the cocktails they’d ordered the moment the bar at Bowood House Spa had opened at 11:00 a.m.
Two nights in a fancy hotel with her best friend was a trip Daisy never thought she’d ever take, hen do or no hen do.
“I can’t believe you agreed to this,” Clara said, as if reading her mind.
“You told me it was not optional,” Daisy replied, laughing.
“It wasn’t, but I still can’t believe you came.”
“I’m happy I did.” Daisy meant it. Not only did it feel like a huge step to be there but it was a relief to be out of the house, where she felt like the walls were closing in on her. After Zack’s initial outburst, he’d disappeared to play padel and returned as though nothing had happened. He’d been all loving and warm, a bunch of chrysanthemums in his hands as he asked to go through all the wedding plans one final time. Chrysanthemums. They meant something too, Daisy knew. They meant goodbye.
“An actual annual leave day used for holiday! Soon there’ll be nothing holding you back, just like Carol said!” Daisy had filledClara in about her therapy session briefly at work, but without many details as to how it related to Zack. She was still processing that part herself.
“I think I need to apologize to Tom,” Daisy blurted out, looking toward the pool.
Clara sat up, rubbing her hands together. “Tom chat. Perfect for your hen do!” She winked at Daisy, who grimaced.
“I thought he was being so unkind with everything he said, but now I think maybe it was the opposite.” She gazed at the pool. “He was trying to help me, in the same way you were. And then I kicked off at him, and now I’m not even sure if he’s coming to the wedding.”
“He’ll be there,” Clara said firmly, but she hadn’t been on the bus that morning. She hadn’t seen how it had all ended. He had every right to have decided between then and now that he was done with her and he’d rather focus on a new life, he and Sophie, without her.
“Question,” Clara continued. “Why do you keep staring at the pool?” She lifted her sunglasses onto the top of her head. Sunglasses she insisted on wearing to feel as though they were away on some tropical island, as opposed to indoors, in the UK, in January.
Daisy pulled her eyes away from the glistening water and thought about Clara’s question.
“Because I think I want to get in it,” Daisy answered honestly.
“You’ve been staring at it for, like, half an hour.”
