It wasn’t really something Tom would have considered in the past, but then, he’d never come up with his own exhibition before. It turned out that when he had full control over it, it was as much a lesson in life as it was a showcasing of his work. A lesson, Tom thought, he should probably start listening to himself.
Chapter Nineteen
Daisy
“What are you doing here?” Daisy asked, when she saw Tom tap his card on the bus and walk toward her. It was the private viewing of his exhibition that night and she’d presumed he wouldn’t be around so early on in the day. “Too excited to sleep?”
He shrugged. “Something like that.”
He pulled his hat off and put it in his puffer jacket pocket, rubbing his hands together as he sat down, the twinkling lights of Angel shining through the window behind him.
“Well,thatis the face of a man who can’t wait for his grand opening!”
He turned to look at her and she instead recognized the face of a man who hadn’t slept. His hair was now mussed from the removal of his hat, his eyes bloodshot with dark rings beneath them.
“Want to talk about it?”
“The way you talk about things, you mean?” he said, not unkindly, raising an eyebrow as the bus pulled away from Angel. “You’ve clearly got your own stuff going on.”
“How do you know?”
He nodded toward her. “You haven’t rotated your outfit, you’re wearing the same one as yesterday. You’re staring out the window instead of writing on your phone, and, mostimportantly, you look fucking sad,” he said, a laugh spilling out of Daisy for the first time in what felt like weeks.
She and Clara had been ignoring each other at work ever since their falling out. It was a week when Clara was on the later shift and they’d normally have lunch together, and it hurt Daisy to get up and leave her desk without inviting Clara to join her, but she was still so angry. So hurt and confused that Clara would react that way without giving Daisy a chance to explain herself. To explain how it was different for her and Zack. She’d just thrown her opinion at her, and yes, Daisy had snapped and she shouldn’t have, but what else was she meant to do?
She was desperate to talk to Tom about their fight. She knew he’d make sense of it and offer her some wise words that would help, but she couldn’t tell him. If she did, she’d have to tell him the truth about how she and Zack had met and if Clara’s reaction was anything to go by, it wasn’t something people took lightly. Daisy understood that, she did, but had he conned her? No. He loved her. They fell in love with each other, and in one month they were getting married.
“I didn’t apply for the job and now it’s gone and I regret it,” Daisy said instead, needing to offer Tom some reason for her apparent fucking sadness. Tom looked right at her, the corners of his eyes crinkling gently as he shuffled upright in his seat. “And I’m not even sure it was just because it was the wrong time. It feels like there’s more to it.”
“Like what?”
Daisy thought about how to say the next bit without sounding weird, but actually that was sort of who they were to each other. Their whole selves, including the weirdness. “I’m not used to acting on things. Stepping out of my comfort zone. Jobs have appeared before, and it’s like my body and my brain don’t let me do it. Then I go home and Zack assures me I did the right thing. That it just means I wasn’t ready and we’ll know when I am.”
Tom watched her and she waited as his eyes glanced to the ground and back up. “Do you think you can do the job?”
Daisy pondered the question. “I’d work hard until I could.”
“That’s not what I’m asking you,” Tom said gently as someone passed behind him to get to the doors. “I’m asking if you think you’re good enough to do it.”
She stared at the seat in front of her.
“Okay,” he continued. “What about your current job? Do you think you’re good at that?” His eyes weren’t leaving her face.
Daisy bit at her thumb. It wasn’t something she’d ever questioned. “I definitely try and do the best job I can, but that’s always been to kind of... keep out of the way.” She’d had no idea she felt that way until the words left her mouth.
“It seems like you do that with a lot of stuff,” he said. “Try not to cause a scene. Stay in the background with your family. Don’t go too big on the wedding. Won’t go for the job...”
Daisy leaned toward the window, her chest lifting slightly. She hadn’t thought about it like that. Maybe she did hang back more than other people. Maybe more than she should. “I guess that’s true,” she said, her breath quickening as the truth of his words sunk in. He was describing her so accurately. More accurately than she’d ever be able to describe herself even, and she hadn’t had that with anyone in years. She didn’t need to explain herself to Tom, he just knew.
“I’m telling you now, you’re good enough,” Tom said, his voice firm as lightheadedness stilted Daisy’s vision when she looked at him. “You can do that job. I saw the articles. ‘In an exclusive interview with Entertainment Now!’ That was you. I believe in you, Daisy. You just need to believe in yourself a bit more.”
She swallowed, shivers working their way up her arms and down her spine as she turned away to look out the window. She needed to pull her focus from his face. It wasn’t just the wordscoming out of his mouth that were having this effect on her, it was him. Just one moment of their eyes connecting and she didn’t know how to still herself. Everything in her felt like it was fizzing.
The bus fell quiet for a moment and a low hum filled the air, before the automated announcement said the next stop was Euston Station. They weren’t far. It was as though he realized it too.
“Have you got time... How do you feel if we...” He shook his head. “Will you get off and walk with me?”
Daisy looked at her watch. She could just about make it, and she was enjoying this morning with him. It felt different to others, even if she wasn’t really sure why.
