Zack stood up, pulling Daisy toward her.
“Sorry,” he whispered. “Sorry, sweetheart. I don’t know what I thought it was, it just seemed out of character for you and you’ve not been yourself lately. It felt like maybe something was going on?”
“There’s nothing going on,” Daisy said, shaking her head as a knot twisted in her stomach.
He pressed her head against his chest and held her there. “We moved here together, me and you. For a fresh start. This only works if it’s the two of us.”
“I know that. I do know that, of course I do. The book was for you.”
“Forus,” he corrected, putting a finger under her chin and lifting her head, kissing her softly on the lips. “Whatever’s for me is for us. It just felt like you were moving away from me. Reading books in secret. Going out more. You forget how well I know you, and your anxiety worsens when you try to force your way out of your comfort zone. I can help you do it, but it takes time and you need to listen to me, okay?” He wrapped his arms around her. “We’ve already achieved so much together. You’ve moved cities and got space from your family. You’ve got a job you love. A flat that makes you happy. I’ve helped you with all of it. I want the best for you, you know I do. You can trust me.”
“I do trust you.” A lump formed in Daisy’s throat as she thought about how hypocritical she was being, telling Zack she trusted him while she was sneaking around.
Whatever Tom had said about the job, Daisy couldn’t apply now, even if she wanted to. She was already keeping one big secret from Zack, and that secret was Tom.
Chapter Fourteen
Tom
“I never see you now all your friends are having heart bypasses and hernias removed and knees and hips replaced,” Tom said, raising his wineglass to meet his Dad’s, who brought his forward for a cheers.
“It wasonehip replacement. Otherwise, we’re all fighting fit.”
They’d met at Gaucho in Hampstead for lunch. Tom knew he’d seen less of his dad since he and Sophie broke up. He still didn’t understand Laura’s role in it, and he couldn’t help it. His distrust of her had put distance between them all and it was a hard thing to bring up with their already-strained relationship, so instead he showed it through actions, through the odd derogatory comment and fewer visits.
In amongst shooting the front cover for an international women’s magazine and an advert for a new cycling range by a popular sporting brand, Tom had spent the past week covering so many different parts of London, pointing his camera at people experiencing various moments of joy. He’d gone to a comedy night and taken photos of the crowd. He’d gone to restaurants and snapped groups of friends joking together. He’d even stayed on one bus right until the end of the route and captured one of his favorites so far. Two women in their seventies or eighties,laughing so hard that one of them leaned forward and hit her head on the railing in front of her. He’d jumped up to help, but the knock had made them both laugh even harder, so he just kept his camera on them instead.
Each time he took someone’s photo he handed them a card he’d had printed, inviting them to the private viewing. As he jumped off the bus, they were already discussing what they were going to wear.
Tom turned his attention back to his dad. “Glad to hear it. Got to keep yourself youthful with that younger wife.”
He frowned. “I don’t need to keep myself in any state, but I want to try anyway. For myself, not for Laura. She knew who I was when she fell in love with me.”
Tom sighed. He could never draw his dad into a conversation about the age gap, but it just made so little sense to him. They couldn’t have anything in common; not the way he and Sophie did. They loved to travel and watch romantic comedies. They... Tom frowned. There was more than that, obviously. It just wasn’t leaping out at him now because it had been nearly six months since all the things they had shared and enjoyed together went up in flames around him.
“Well that’s good.”
“It’s great. She’s a wonderful woman and we have a very happy life together.”
The lump of bread Tom had just put in his mouth turned solid.
“You could have that too, if you let yourself,” his dad added, leaning back in his seat.
“If Sophie hadn’t dumped me, you mean?” Tom said, swallowing the bread down as though it were kitchen foil.
“If you stopped putting your girlfriends on pedestals and just let them be themselves. You know the problem with a pedestal? The only way is down. Your mother did the same with me. Sheheld me so high up, Tom, and that might sound like a fun place to be, but it isn’t. You feel like you can’t put a foot wrong, and every small thing you do that isn’t what they expect is a disappointment. It’s so much better to be seen for who you truly are, warts and all.”
Tom stared at his dad. They spoke often about his mum, but not really about their marriage. Tom had always just presumed it was a good one that would have continued forever if she hadn’t have died. Maybe that’s why he was always looking for signs itwasn’tso perfect with Laura. Now his dad was implying things hadn’t been as great as he thought, and not only that, but that perhaps things hadn’t been that great for Tom and Sophie either. The four of them had spent a lot of time together over the years. It was how Laura and Sophie had grown so close. Through lunches and park walks, weekends away and help moving them into their various houses. They’d been over for dinner and babysat Martha so the new parents could go out. His dad had never once mentioned any of this to him.
“I don’t think I put anyone on a pedestal,” Tom said, leaning back to allow for the steak to be put in front of him. “I loved Sophie, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t aware of her flaws.”
“What were they, then?” his dad asked, cutting into his own steak and not looking up.
Tom opened his mouth to answer. Sophie’s flaws. That was unfair. Some people in life really were perfect, and it wasn’t his fault that he’d ended up with one of them.
“Well what are Laura’s?” Tom threw back.
“Super grumpy after nine p.m. Thinks she’s the better parent but won’t admit it—she probably is, but it’s still annoying. Terrible taste in television. Can’t reverse park for shit. Sometimes a bittooselfless.”
