Shay barks a bitter laugh. She thinks back to the bone-eaters’ retelling of Ghita's last thoughts, the hazy recollection of something about her mother not staying away. She wouldn't be surprised at this point if Hind said those things at the brewery on purpose, knowing the ensuing rumors would lure her into a trap. “What made you change your mind?”
“I'm ashamed to say I didn't until the last minute. Right when you called me ‘Mmi.’ That's when I panicked. I got you out of Nezjar and told Jawad you'd snuck off with the ring while I was blitzed. I told him the experiment didn't work on you anyway. That you didn't have magic, and you weren't worth looking for. He still wanted to search for you, until I told him about the other baby, the one Ghita had taken. It was the only thing I could do to distract him.”
“Glory to heaven.” Shay isn't sure which revelation is more gutting: that she was fathered by someone so evil or that her mother actually wanted her killed. Lies upon lies, tangled with half-truths. Shay can hardly keep it all straight. She massages her aching temples.
“If you failed to do what Jawad asked of you, how did you end up back in the kasbah?”
“Isn't it obvious?” Hind's shoulders slump. “This was his idea of revenge.” She indicates her swollen belly, signifying the pregnancy was some twisted form of punishment.
Any anger at her mother's multiple betrayals is lost in the anguish Shay feels knowing she was forced to conceive against her will. That the beauty of bearing a child will be tarred by the trauma of rape. That she has been violated in just about every way possible.
She tries to absorb it, the atrocity of it all. Like pouring the entirety of the Cerabbi Sea into a tea glass. The Morchidat was right. The women of Mekchaouen are in danger. All of them. Jawad may be the worst of Al-Mukhtar, but how long before he convinces the others his “experiments” are worth pursuing?
“Is there anything else you haven't told me?”
“Nothing, habibti.” The kindness in Hind's voice is almost jarring after her earlier vitriol. “But you should also know that Al-Mukhtar never plan to be replaced by younger Moulays. They make touched ones perform spells to extend their life. Spells that can transform their faces so it appears they've been replaced by a successor. They take credit for all the prosperity Mekchaouen enjoys, when the whole realm is held together by women's Shawafa.”
“They use your addiction to enslave you,” Shay says quietly.
She blinks into the purpled shadows of twilight. Numbness buzzes through her limbs. Hind obviously never knew anything about the other hjabats; even Jawad seems to have been more concerned with Sami than with Shay having possession of the ring. If Al-Mukhtar are using the hjabats for things like simple sleep spells, they probably don't know how important they are or that the resistance is looking for them. That's at least one thing potentially working in their favor.
Shay has never felt so tired or more awake.
Hind lets out a plaintive yawn. It straightens Shay to attention.
“I should let you rest.”
“Wait.” Hind grabs Shay's hand and presses the palm of it flat against her side. “Feel this before you go.”
A series of small thumps brings a smile to Shay's lips despite everything. “She's strong.”
“How do you know it's a girl?”
“I just do.” Shay stands and shuffles in place, working feeling back into her arms and legs. “Do you need me to bring you anything else?”
“See if the bone-eaters can procure a bundle of fabric and sewing needles. Keeping my hands busy may be a useful distraction while I purge. Maybe I can make something for your sister.”
The touched one lies on her side, her hands cradling the top and bottom of her pregnant belly. She looks, framed in the forgiving glow of lantern light, like any other expectant woman. Any loving mother.
“And please, open the window before you go? It's stuffier than the seven hells in here.”
28
Shay's Rfissa Recipe
Ingredients
4 tablespoons olive oil
3 large onions
3 garlic cloves
1 teaspoon ground ginger
3/4 teaspoon salt, or more to taste
1 pinch saffron threads
