“What?” I ask.
“That me and you could give things a real chance now. That is, if you’re even interested.”
“I am,” I finally admit. I lean against the door but leave my palms open against my legs, wondering if he’ll take hold again.“It’s overwhelming spending time with you again. What if it’s just nostalgia or—”
“Or we should give this a try,” he says, reaching for my hand just as I hoped.
“We can roll for it,” I tease.
Declan pats his pockets. “I don’t have any dice on me.” But he’s determined to find some. He leans over into the trunk to grab his backpack, searching in the pockets until he discovers two loose dice at the bottom of his bag. “Here we go.”
“Yep, there we go,” I say, echoing his words, wondering if I’m really ready to leave this up to chance.
He offers the classic white dice to me. “Do you want to roll?”
“You can.”
“What do we do?” he asks. “Odds or evens? Or, like, four through six?”
“Um, snake eyes,” I say before considering the negative connotation of what would be considered a low roll. Declan hesitates, also because I’ve chosen something with less likely odds than a broader category of result options like he was suggesting would’ve afforded.
“Okay.” His voice quivers as he holds up the dice, shaking them in his hands. “Okay?”
I nod. He tosses the dice onto the seat between us, and they bounce once. Declan is hunched forward, holding his breath, watching so intently that, in this very moment, I know I don’t need to wait to see the result.
Before the dice settle on a number, I reach out and knock them into the footwell.
Declan is confused. “Wha—”
But I lean forward and interrupt him with a kiss.
One that he’s excited to return, running his hands up through my hair then down my back, as I lunge forward to wrap my arms around him and crawl onto his lap. Our urgency is somehow also slow and steady, exploratory and self-possessed, not racing against a clock but appreciating every single moment of connection.
Several minutes later, I lean away to catch my breath, in awe of the smile dawning on Declan’s face as he gazes up at me. “We’re giving this a try?” he asks, reaching to brush a finger across my neck.
“Maybe we’ve found the right timing,” I say, leaning in to kiss him once more, giddy as he hums in appreciation and meets me in the middle. “There’s really only one way to find out.”
“Wait…” he says, noticing something. He wraps his arms behind my back and lowers us down onto the seat so we can turn to look at the dice on the floor.
“What are they?” I ask, still unable to see them clearly.
Declan reaches to clasp the two dice between his thumb and index finger, bringing them close to our faces, displaying the pair of ones staring back up at us.
“Would you look at that,” I tease. I already felt assured in my decision, but a little sign from the universe can’t hurt.
Declan drops the dice again, and we cuddle together across the back seat, legs scrunched tight against the door but neither of us minding the cozy, enclosed space.
“We should probably get on the road,” I whisper, not actually wanting to leave yet. The sky is dark above us, and there’s still a long way home.
“We will soon.” Declan doesn’t move either.
That’s fine with me. “Okay.”
He holds me close, and I rest my hand on his chest. Our breathing steadies, falling into sync. “Let’s just take a moment to appreciate that we found our way back.”
To eachother.
