“No”—something—“different.” Jackson’s eyes dart away. Then he mumbles about “you would” and “if I was.” Is he trying to say that he thinks I’d like him better if he was also deaf? What have I done to make him think that would be some sort of requirement?
Desperate to explain and apologize, I reach out to touch his arm. “I’m really sorry about how—”
“I don’t want to talk aboutthat.” Jackson slides under the blankets and lies back.
“Oh, I didn’t know…”
He closes his eyes. I’m sure he’s exhausted, but this is him blatantly ignoring me now.
“It wasn’t like that,” I say softly. “But Idolike you and really liked that kiss and wish I hadn’t been so messed up by my ex that I ruined the moment.”
Jackson doesn’t move. He might be asleep now.
I slide off the mattress and put the pizza box on the dresser, then step into the bathroom to get ready for bed. There’s a spare blanket in the little front closet, and I take an extra pillow from his cousin’s abandoned bed. I could probably sleep there, but I wouldn’t want to take Darius’s spot if he does end up coming back. Plus, this uncomfortable couch is all that I deserve tonight.
Before I turn off the light, something sticking out of Jackson’s bag catches my eye. The golden pair of knit socks.
Chapter Twenty-six
Jackson
I’m ready toforget this terrible trip ever happened.
After last night, I don’t say a word to Ellie all morning. I’m glad for her help getting back to the hotel, but I’m still pissed about what happened at the football game. We leave the room together, but then she stops for a cup of coffee, so I go ahead to the bus outside, where my cousin is already waiting with some of the soccer guys.
“How was the room?” Darius asks, winking. “I struck out, but we saw the two of you looking very cozy, so I crashed with some of the guys.”
It’s hard to pay attention to what he’s saying. The dizziness is really lasting this time, more than ever before. I need to hold on to something or sit down. This bus ride home is going to be miserable.
For many reasons.
“Actually, it was—” I’m about to explain to Darius what happenedwhen Liam steps forward from the back of the group.
“Yeah,” Liam taunts. “Figures the only girl you could get is the one who doesn’t hear the shit you say.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask.
But then I remember Ellie helping me back to the room. And the key card in my pocket. How could the guys think that that looked like any sort of fun? I was moving like a zombie. I must not have been vomiting yet.
Oh, I threw up so much. Ellie stuck around to take care of it all. She really didn’t have to do that. I probably should’ve tried talking to her more last night, but I was so exhausted and still angry about the game.
Her ex was there. And that’s why she kissed me.
It certainly didn’t feel like that was the only reason why she kissed me. I’m not imagining that, right? It was a good kiss. It could have been a great one under any other circumstances. But then I went and got sick, so we couldn’t even have a proper fight about it.
We’re not going to be able to talk about it on the bus, either. So now what? Do we just forget it ever happened?
Liam’s still trying to get a rise out of me. “Can deaf people even have sex?” he taunts me. “But I’ll bet you found a way to make her scream.” He motions in a very disgusting, suggestive way, managing to mock both ASL and Ellie in one go. This needs to stop.
I look over my shoulder and see Ellie coming this way with her eyes welling up, but she brushes right past us. She’s tough. I never thought I’d see anything that could break her. But she also had a rough night.
“Did I get that right?” Liam shouts, still waving his arms around nonsensically. Ellie removes her hearing aid and cochlear implantreceiver, shoving them in her pocket as she climbs on the bus. “So you can hear!” he yells after her.
“Back off, Liam,” I say, going after Ellie.
“Hey, man.” He gives an indifferent laugh. “I’m just asking questions.”
I need to pace myself climbing the stairs. I clench the side bar. It’s only a few steps. One at a time.Don’t vomit.
