She nods. “Yeah, I figured.”
“Shit, Lucy. I’m so sorry. I wish you had told me. I could’ve helped.”
She blushes, lifting a shoulder. “I’m okay now. Urgent care gave me medicine. I was still swollen on Tuesday, but it’s mostly gone now.”
I sit forward and put my hand out. I notice the intimacy of reaching for her, so I pull my hand back. “I’m sorry that happened.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t know I was allergic.” She puts her hands on the table, and my heart patters against my ribs like maybe she’s giving me permission to touch her.
I lose confidence and pull back. I rub my sweaty palms on my pants and readjust myself in this chair. The room has changed since she told me. The tutor version of Lucy is gone, and I have the real her. I admit I like it a little too much.
I press my luck and say, “About Friday night.”
She stills, looking down. I wait for her to look at me. A few beats pass, and then she glances into my eyes when she can’t take the silence any longer.
“I—” I begin, but I forgot what I was going to say when her eyes stare into mine. My Camdenth catches. I don’t know what I’m going to do about this girl. I don’t know her, but it feels like I do. I don’t even need to say anything to communicate. Her eyes are telling me everything I need to know. It’s reflecting how I feel. “I know we don’t know each other.” I sit forward. “I mean, we’ve only known each other for a week, but it feels like I’ve always known you.”
She nods. “I feel the same.”
My hands start to sweat, so I wipe them together. “I don’t know what to do with it.”
She whispers, “Me either.”
I blurt, “Are you saying that to be agreeable?”
“No,” she says automatically.
“What––” I clear my throat and sit back. “What do we do?”
She watches me.
“For full transparency, I’m being drafted in seven months.”
She says, “I don’t know what that means.”
That makes me smile. I don’t know whether to find it refreshing or annoying that I have to spell it out to her.
“It means I have the opportunity to be picked up from a team, and that’s looking like it could be Vancouver. And so, I’ll be out of here.”
“Out of the country?” she asks.
I nod.
“Wow,” she says, looking down. “That’s –– that’s amazing. It sounds far.”
“It’s very far, so if you don’t want –– I mean if you, you know.” I don’t know what I’m saying, and I’m starting to stumble over my own words. I’m normally confident in what I want, but right now, it feels like I have no control in how this goes. She could reject the hell out of this and run for the hills.
She’s quiet for a moment, looking down at the papers. My heart is slamming against my chest. I didn’t expect to have this chat so soon, but I understand if she’s not willing to put herself out for a man who’s going to be leaving.
When she speaks, I hold my Camdenth.
“We don’t have to decide.” Her voice is quiet. “We could take it day by day,” she offers.
I look up and catch her pretty brown eyes. “Yeah?”
She blushes. “Yeah, I mean, if that’s what you want to do.”
“I would love to do that as long as you’re up for it,” I say. My nerves are slowly dissipating. I lined up my shot, hit it, and it just hit the back of the net in a loud thud. That thud is my heart.
