“It’s just the truth,” I mutter back.
She tells me, after a while, about what happened on the phone with her mom. She tells me how Bear called her from a school bathroom this morning because her mom never paid for a field trip that Lucy sent her money for. Then she tells me what her mom said to her on the phone, and it takes everything in me not to say something. I don’t like hearing this. It’s hard to listen to. Lucy doesn’t cry, so I think that’s a good start.
“I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.” And I mean it. She shouldn’t have to worry about her brother and deal with her neglectful mother.
“I’ve been dealing with it my whole life, so it’s okay. I think I know now that it’s not going to change.”
“I’m sorry.”
The path comes around the south side of the pond, and there’s a bench under a tree. We sit on it, and Lucy is pressed against me. I put an arm around her shoulders, and she lets me. The sun is starting to go down as the ducks glide across the surface. I gently let my fingertips rub her arm.
“Lucy,” I say nervously.
She looks up at me. “Yeah.”
Looking at this girl up close is going to be the end of me. “Come to the home opener tomorrow, and then the party.”
She turns away, looking at the pond. “Benson.”
“Don’t say no yet.” I want her to come. I want her to be there so fucking bad.
She says, “Gianna is going to find out.”
“What is she going to do?” I keep moving my fingers against her jacket. Silence fills between us, and I tell myself not to say it.Don’t fucking offer it as an option. You’re going to sound like an asshole.“Unless you want to keep this a secret.”
She looks at me for a long beat.
She shrugs.
I am going to remember this shrug for the rest of my life. The shrug is a girl who has not decided what we are, but who is also not denying that we are something. The shrug is a yes that she’s not admitting with her mouth yet. The shrug is, by every reasonable interpretation a man can put on a shrug, the greenest light I have ever seen.
“So, you’ll come then?”
She sighs, looking torn.
“Come to the home opener. It’s for the public. I’ll get you a ticket.”
“You’ll get me a ticket?” she asks.
“And just come to the party after. I’m going to eat dinner with my family, and then I’ll be at the Hawthorne House afterward.”
She gives me a questionable look.
“You’re my sister’s best friend, so nobody is going to think anything of it. Plus, you’re tutoring me. Nothing has to look different from what it would have looked like a month ago. I want you there.”
“You forgot something,” she says, looking up at me through those long lashes.
“What?” I ask, genuinely clueless. I want to know what I’m missing.
She whispers, “Not too long ago, everyone saw you on one knee asking me out on a date and then kissing my crying face.”
When she says those words, I can’t help but smile. I did those things just to get her here. I’d fist bump myself if I could because it worked.
I lean in and let my Camdenth tickle her ear, “I would do it in front of the world if it meant I could spend time with you.”
She looks at my lips in a daze. Then she looks into my eyes. I brush a strand of her hair behind her ear.
“Tomorrow,” I whisper. “The game’s a big deal, and I want you there. And I want to see you after, Lucy.”
