“Hard to believe it’s June,” TB mused. “I lived in New Zealand for a number of years, yet I always forget how our seasons switch when we get below the equator.”
“That was the hardest thing for Midas and me to acclimate to when we came to the States. Snow at Christmas was surreal. We’d seen it in movies and on television. But to experience it?” Nemo looked through his binoculars. He barked out a laugh, then handed the device to Gem, who was now standing next to him. “Take a look, sugar cat.”
She held the glasses up to her eyes, then handed them back to Nemo, a huge grin spreading across her elfin face.
Nemo fake-whispered, “Maybe tonight we can sneak into town, climb their clock tower, and reenact a few highlights from our meeting in Riquewihr. Antique shopping, maybe?” He raised his eyebrows up and down several times.
She smacked him with her gloved hand. “Stop it.”
The words belied her interest based on the sparkle in her eyes, and Steel didn’t think the red tinge in her cheeks had much to do with the cold air surrounding them.
The team was heavily focused on the view into the downtown area, which was on the southeastern shore of Nahuel Huapi.
A glance over his shoulder showed that Daleyza was still checked out.
The situation between them was brutal, but the closer they’d gotten to their home country yesterday, the more withdrawn she’d become. In fact, she’d gone completely nonverbal, which caused his guilt to fester so greatly that he was now on day three with no sleep. Instead of being in their bed, where he could have been attempting to explain himself, he’d been out doing reconnaissance on her family home, looking for external changes in either structure or security.
Now he realized that his night away was the absolute worst thing he could have done. He’d solidified the terrible thoughts running through her head. They’d be so firmly entrenched, she’d never believe him when he told her the truth, only seeing it as his way of tricking her into cooperating with whatever they needed from her.
He deserved everything coming to him.
He caught a look from Gem, who obviously saw right through him. “Fix it,” she hissed. “This isn’tMario Kart, where you can just start a new game when you lose.”
“She’s not wrong,” Nemo added, though his eyes were anywhere but on Steel. “Trust me. I know.”
The start of a headache appeared.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to fix things. He wanted it with every fiber of his being.
But he was scared. The man who was never scared—who facedeverything in front of him with a spine of steel and a face that gave away nothing. He was fucking terrified.
Terrified she still blamed him for their son’s death, despite saying she didn’t.
Terrified she hated him for protecting her the only way he knew how.
Terrified she had no love left in her for him.
Terrified she’d leave him.
Terrified she’d stay, then realize she should have left.
As terrified as he was, he realized that Gem was right. He had to fix this. He would spend the rest of his life fixing this. Even if she never took him back, he would never stop trying to fix it.
On silent feet, even in the crisp snow, he took a few steps toward Daleyza.
She showed no sign that she heard his approach.
“Leeza,” he called out. When she didn’t respond, didn’t even move with recognition that he’d spoken to her, he walked the rest of the way over to her. A touch to her shoulder didn’t even break her focus. “Leeza?”
Her attention didn’t waver, but she did answer him. “I never thought I’d see this place again. It still hurts, even after all this time.”
Refusing to think about the implications, he pulled her to him, one arm banding around her waist, the other resting against the side of her face as he pulled it to his chest. His lips found the crown of her head.
“Lo siento, belleza.” He willed his words into her, hoping with everything inside him that she understood the apology was for more than her current pain.
She didn’t touch him, except for where he held her to him. The fact that her arms didn’t lift to go around him caused tears to well in his eyes. He couldn’t let them out. She could never see them.
Instead of letting go, he murmured into her hair, “I think it will always hurt. I only wish I could promise that it would lessen. I would take the pain and carry it all for you, but I can’t.”
