“Nemo said she’s a total badass. Blew up an SUV by putting two shots to the driver’s head and then blew up another with two or three shots to a fuel tank.”
He kept working.
“Said you two had an epic fight, as well. Guys were arguing about how in love the two of you must be to fight like that.”
Clenching his teeth, he set aside his weapon and picked up the next one. He stripped it apart, piece by piece, methodically laying them out on the table as if it were a jigsaw puzzle he was going to put back together.
“It’s okay to be afraid, Steel.”
His hands stopped working, but his eyes stayed glued to the pieces still in his hands. While he didn’t look at her, he could see her in his peripheral, still moving to lay out the kit pieces, her eyes focused on her work rather than him.
“When Nemo was in that mine, I was terrified. And if it hadn’t been for your team”—she shook her head—“I’m not sure I wouldn’t have done something foolish. Fear makes us do crazy things. Turns our logic inside out.”
Palms flat on the table, his arms locked so he could lean on it, he hung his head. “When the Navy gave me the ultimatum to take their offer or my wife and mother would be deported to Argentina, I let my emotions—my fear—take over. I let my control slip away, and I panicked.”
“And the infamous ‘Steel Control’ can never slip because the one time it did, you lost everything. Explains a lot.” Now that their kits were laid out, she began to pack the portion she would carry. “I read the reports, you know. Kept in an off-site interrogation room for seven days. Limited food and water. Nowhere to lie down except on the floor or on the table. Your piece-of-shite contact worked you over mentally and emotionally when he knew your world was spinning out of control. You were manipulated, Steel. You were at one of the worst moments in your life, and he took advantage of that. He kept you separated from your family. He kept you from your son’s funeral, for fuck’s sake. You didn’t abandon them. You can’t abandon people you were kept from.”
Something felt off about what she was saying. The information was accurate, but it didn’t quite match up with his memories. “Maybe not then. But I took the deal. I made the wrong choice.”
“Can you make a wrong choice when all the choices you’re given are bad?” She shook her head. “Do you honestly think he was ever going to let you go and live your life, free and easy?” She snorted. “Not bloody likely. Your fate was decided as soon as you approached Agent Salazar. He saw his opportunity, and he took it. He didn’t care that it would destroy you. All he cared about was whether he would come out of the situation a hero. Happy to say he got exactly what was coming to him.”
He looked up at her. He’d never heard what happened with theinformation he’d given Salazar, other than that the cartel was still going strong. “What happened to him?”
“They found him in the desert. Well,” she corrected herself. “They found parts of him in the desert. Some pieces are still missing. He disappeared not long after you went into the first black site. Midas did his thing and found reports that your buddy, Salazar, was trying to work both sides, and not only did he lose, but someone got to him. Everybody, including your own country, was looking for that arsehole. To date, enough of him has been found to know that he won’t be double-crossing any more informants.”
A flicker of enjoyment sparked inside that the man who destroyed his life got the punishment he deserved. Rogue agents of any kind were always a possibility, and it rarely ended well for them. However, he couldn’t lay all the blame at Salazar’s feet. After all, if Daleyza had been smart enough to realize the agent was playing them, he should have been able to discern that as well.
“Bastard should have been fed to the sharks.”
With a smirk, Gem zipped up her kit and placed it on the table. “I think that’s a TB and Steel specialty. In pieces in the desert has more of a cartel flavor to it.” She walked over and stood shoulder to shoulder with him. “I guess what I’m trying to get at is, you’ve got a chance to make it, not necessarily right, but make it better.”
He picked up pieces of his weapon again and went back to reassembling it. “It’s difficult enough being around her after all this time. She’s so angry.”
“Is it that she’s angry? Or is she confused? Believe it or not, the two look a lot alike sometimes.”
Shaking his head, he asked, “Even if I could convince her to accept me back, what happens if she’s taken from me again?”
“Then you take her back, Steel,” she said with force. “And you keep taking her back until it sticks. I live with the fear of losing Nemo every day. He’s a right cunt most days, but he’s mine. There isn’t a single day I wouldn’t risk everything for him.” She turned to him, leaning against the table. “Is life worth living without her?”
“Being without her hasn’t been living. It’s been drifting in limbo. Like I’m not alive, but I’m not dead either.”
“Then you have your answer.”
She stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. Signaling to Scheherazade, she and the dog headed for the elevator. From the open carriage, she called out, “Latest bet is twenty-two minutes late for departure. If you want to prove God wrong, be before then. TB has on time.” The elevator door closed.
It was a long while before Steel went back to cleaning and piecing together his weapon.
21
AUGUST 22–23, 2024
Daleyza
Hands pulledher hair over her shoulder, and he placed a kiss there. “Smells good.” His nose brushed against the shell of her ear from behind.
“Veal milanesa.”
“My favorite.”
