‘Would you like to take a turn about the room?’ the earl asked. She noticed his coat was the same gold as his hair. Sonya nodded, setting down her plate. He offered her his arm, and she took it.
‘Have you noticed that…’ He was talkative, so it did not require much of her to walk with him. She responded with an occasional, ‘That’s interesting’ or ‘Oh!’ and he carried on. She was distracted, her gaze jumping to Azam at the side of the crowded room. No matter where she moved in the room, her eyes found him and, each time, he was already watching her.
Frustration built inside her, making her breathless. She felt like a bow pulled taut, ready to snap an arrow.
‘Princess?’ the earl asked, and she realized he was awaiting her response to a question.
She blinked, looking into his blue eyes. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘What did you ask?’
He smiled, unbothered. ‘I asked if you enjoyed horseback riding as well?’
‘Oh…um…not particularly?’
‘Ah.’
An awkward moment hung between them, and she stopped walking. ‘Please excuse me,’ she said. He opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, she quickly turned on her heel, heading for the drinks table again. She grabbed the first drink she saw, hoping that would help, but the sweet liquid did not do much.
She couldn’t breathe.
Everything was so loud, clinking glasses and laughter and music, mixing together to make her ears ring. There were too many people, all of them staring; it was too hot, the air suffocating; her corset was too tight. She closed her eyes, trying to take deep breaths.
Think of something peaceful.
Her thoughts went straight to the cottage.
She was no longer at a royal ball, dressed in her finest. Instead, she was wearing a simple day dress, the cotton soft and weathered from use. She was washing dishes by the sink and, in the background, she could hear the fire crackling and Dania’s laughter outside in the garden, mingled with Kiri’s.
She didn’t need to turn to know that Azam was beside her, his presence steady and solid. His knuckles brushed against hers as she handed him a plate to dry. She looked up at him, and he smiled at her, that beautiful smile, and everything was perfect.
Sonya opened her eyes, abruptly returning to the ballroom, the noise and commotion overwhelming her senses. A sob rose in her throat as she reminded herself that everythingwasn’tperfect because it wasn’t real. It was a dream, and now she had to wake up and face reality.
She was a princess, and princesses got married. It was what they did.
And she wanted to get married—she did. But the man she had chosen had put a wall between them. Her heart pounded painfully.
Then Shahmir was there, his hand at her elbow. ‘Munni, is everything alright?’ he asked. His asking only made her feel worse. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. ‘Sonya?’
There was nothing she could say to him. She tried to force a smile. ‘I’m alright,’ she said out of habit, but then her other brothers were there, too, watching her, and she realized she wasn’t alright. Not at all.
She needed to be honest.
‘Actually,’ she said, looking at the three of them. ‘I hate this.’ Her lower lip trembled.
‘Hate what?’ Irfan asked, his brows pinched with confusion.
‘All of this,’ she said, gesturing to herself. She took a deep breath. ‘I don’t want to be here, to be this. I don’t want any of this.That’s why I ran away.’
Her brothers were stunned, each of them silent as they took in her words.
‘I didn’t know you felt this way,’ Shahmir finally said, brown eyes concerned. ‘Everything we did was always in your best interests.’
‘Well, it wasn’t,’ she replied sourly.
‘What can we do?’ Mustafa asked.
‘Nothing,’ she said, and she meant it. She would go through with the tourney, she would get married, she would be a princess and a wife. What other option did she have?
The future she had imagined with Azam was not possible, not like this, when he could barely look at her.
