And then the ball went bouncing straight towards the kitchen.
‘No!’ Sonya cried, eyes wide. She reached for it as Dania ran, catching it just before it knocked Kiri’s bowl over.
Unfortunately, Dania did not catch herself.
‘Oof!’ Little Dania crashed into Kiri’s legs, and Kiri flailed, reaching for the counter to steady herself. The bottle of vanilla extract fell to the floor, instantly shattering.
They all froze.
Dania began to cry. ‘I’m sorry,’ she sobbed, tears falling down her fat cheeks.
Kiri looked about ready to burst. ‘I need the vanilla extract,’ she said, her eyelid twitching. ‘I can’t make these without it!’ She began to frantically search the kitchen for a spare bottle.
‘It’s alright, don’t worry,’ Sonya soothed, scooping Dania into her arms. They all had bare feet, and the last thing they needed was for her little toes to get sliced up. Moving carefully across the floor to avoid the glass, Sonya took Dania to the shop, to Azam. ‘Jaani, please go and sit with Azam so your feet don’t get hurt, okay?’
Dania sniffled, rubbing her eyes, then went crying to Azam, who comforted her as Sonya went back to the living area.
Kiri released an exasperated sound as she closed a cupboard door, turning so quickly that Sonya cried out: ‘Watch your feet!’ She reached for a towel to scoop up the glass shards and the spilledessence. ‘You can’t find the spare?’ Sonya asked, wiping the floor. ‘I can go to the market and get some more.’
Kiri released a breath. ‘Oh, darling, please go,’ she said, wiping her brow. ‘You’ll be much quicker with those young legs of yours.’
Sonya rose, and Kiri took over cleaning up the floor as Sonya dashed out.
‘I’m going to the market!’ she called to Azam from the hallway, putting on her shoes. She was out before he could respond. The sky was gray and she wanted to be back before it started pouring.
Sonya made it to the market, heading for the grocery, where she purchased the vanilla extract and tucked it into the pocket of her apron. As she turned to head home, it began drizzling, and Sonya quickened her pace, holding her hand over her pocket to keep the little bottle of vanilla extract from jostling. But she was so focused on keeping dry and getting back quickly, that she didn’t realize she had taken a wrong turn until she had hit a dead end.
Her stomach curdled with dread. ‘That shouldn’t be there,’ she said to herself. She looked around, taking a deep breath to stay calm. She turned back, leaving the alley and heading back for the road, but she had ended up on a street of cottages, none of which looked familiar.
‘You know where you are,’ she told herself.
Surely she wasn’t lost. Not after all this time! She just needed to retrace her steps and find a familiar marker. Just the place she had gone to, a place she had been to more than a dozen times, now.
She wasn’t lost. This couldn’t be happening, not now! Not when there was so much to do and Kiri needed her, and the opening was tomorrow, and, and…
Sonya walked slowly, looking around carefully, even as the drizzle turned into steady rain and panic threatened to set in.
‘You aren’t lost,’ she told herself, voice firm. ‘You aren’t. You can’t be.’
Her hands were shaking, and her stomach curdled. Even Dania knew the way home from the market! She wasn’t…She couldn’t be…
But shewas. She was lost.
Sonya stopped in her tracks, tears welling in her eyes. She tried to push them back, to swallow the lump in her throat, but her head spun. Vision blurring, she closed her eyes, trying to steady herself. Maybe if she calmed down, she would find her way back. Yes, she just needed to relax.
She took a deep breath, then exhaled very slowly. The anxiety ebbed, and she opened her eyes.
But she still didn’t know where she was.
She didn’t know what to do. Her heart pounded painfully against her chest and bile rose in her throat. She was lost. How could she be lost?
She suddenly felt so terribly weak and stupid. She wasn’t at all like the heroes she read about in all her favorite novels: they were always strong and knew how to defend themselves, they were fierce and brave and stood up for people. But Sonya? She couldn’t even take care of herself!
It was such a simple task and she couldn’t do it!
There were so many simple tasks she didn’t know how to do, so many simple things she didn’t know about at all. She was learning, and there was joy in learning, but right then all she felt was frustration.
She had been so sheltered and protected—to her own detriment. Her father and her brothers had not realized what a disadvantage this put her at. They wouldn’t always be there to save her, and she didn’t know how to save herself.
