She took a deep breath before tilting her back to look behind her before meeting my gaze again. “Can we talk outside? If it’s okay with you, I would rather keep our conversation private.”
I would have preferred a private conversation in my office, but having it out in the open was better. I knew I would feel suffocated if I stayed in a closed room with her.
I moved away from the door and let her out before I turned around and followed her, closing the sliding door behind me.
She went down the steps andheaded for the back garden. Her face lit up at the sight of the flowers blooming beautifully under the sunset.
“These flowers,” she started, her hand running over the tall rose bushes. “I planted those even before I became the Luna of this pack. It’s still here.” She had a wide smile on her face until she realized something, and it was immediately wiped off. “Now that you know I planted this, I hope you won’t eliminate it.”
“No,” I answered in a low voice. “Nadia loves them. She actually cut some and reproduced them on that side. Those are still growing, but she was doing great taking care of those too.” My finger pointed to the new set of rose bushes on the far right side of the garden.
My gaze shifted back to her, and I didn’t miss the sparkle in her eyes as she looked at me. I realized I must have shared more than I should have and she was happy with it.
I was just looking back at her and she wasn’t lowering her gaze, and we just stood there in silence. She was probably waiting for me to ask the question again, but I would never ask it again.
In the end, Zahra broke the silence between us.
“You asked why I chose him over you. It shouldn’t be like that. I chose him over your father. But never over you. You, Bella, and Ellie—you are all mine. I should never have to choose because you are all part of me. Your father kicked me out of your life, Riley. And I couldn’t do anything.”
“But you could have stayed. For me.”
“Will you stay?”
My brow furrowed at her question.
“If Andrea comes and tells you she’s carrying your heir, will you leave Nadia? Will you take her back and build a family with her for your heir?” Tears started to fall from her eyes, but she wiped them right away. “You’re lucky you don’t have to. Do you think I haven’t thought of you in the last twenty-three years? Leandro makes me happy, but every time I looked at Bella and Ellie, every time I danced and played with them, a part of me was dying because I never even got to experience that with you. I never got to see you grow and be the man that you are now. I have friends complaining about their sons talking back at them, slamming doors right in their faces, and making late-night calls for them to pick them up somewhere, but I would gladly have all those experiences just to get a hug and a smile from you.”
My eyes started to well withtears, but I blinked them back, trying my best to fight off the familiar emotions of longing that I have for her. But my walls were slowly crumbling down.
“Look at me, Riley. I’m older now. Do you think while you were growing up thinking I had abandoned you, I was just dancing under the sun having the time of my life? I’m happy with the family that I have, but I don’t feel complete. A part of me is missing. Your father was not my fated mate. We played with the Goddess’ will and mocked her with our lies. But if you think that your father, him forced marking me, was something I regret. No, I don’t regret it. We all make mistakes in our lives, but having you was not a mistake. I wanted you. I would always choose this life and I would choose to have you again and again. My only regret is that I didn’t have the courage to fight for you harder.”
I remained silent, waiting for her to continue.
“I should have. I should have died trying but I didn’t. Because I’m waiting for this moment where I get to finally tell you everything. I don’t want to just perish in the world without you knowing that I love you. That I never stopped loving you. That I never stopped thinking about you. You don’t have to forgive me or love me back if you can’t, but just please let me be a part of your life. Just let me in. Twenty-three years of not seeing you was enough punishment for everything I did. But if you think it’s not enough yet, then lay your punishment on me, but please let me be there for you, for Nadia, and for my grandchild.”
She stopped talking and wiped all her tears with a handkerchief and I was just looking at her. Too many emotions came surging in.
The memories of my childhood came flashing all in my head.
The nightly cries, the begging to see her, my father’s hug while I threw terrible tantrums, and the heartbreaks of her not showing up on my birthdays. I lived all my life thinking she didn’t want me.
“I’m sorry, Riley. I’m sorry for hurting you.”
It was all I needed to hear. Her apology for hurting my young soul that grew darker over time.
The tears that I was fighting trickled down my cheeks as I stared at the tear-stricken face of the female I had spent my childhood trying to please, without her even knowing about it.
But my heart was already cold.
“I spent many days askingKatya and Nicole what they like about Dominic and Sebastian. I thought if I could behave and do things the way they do, maybe you’d come back.”
“Riley... I’m sorry.” Her hands were on her mouth as she stifled her sobs but I heard her words clearly.
“I would go out on full moons at the balcony and bargain with the Goddess for you. I don’t understand what I did wrong. Why was I the only one without a mother? You broke me, Zahra.” The last words came out broken.
I cleared my throat and puffed my chest as I wiped off the tears from my face before slipping the box of necklace into my pocket. “I guess that’s enough for now. The dinner will start soon.”
I turned around, ready to walk away, when she called out for me.
