“Yes. Those were exactly my thoughts. Would you rather be alone? Or do you want some company?”
“Come here, Nadia.” He tapped the space beside him before he continued. “You’re always welcome to invade my solitary moments.”
I smiled as I walked forward, my eyes raking his whole back. My mate was ripped with muscles in all the right places, and I couldn’t keep my eyes from swooning over him. And instead of sitting beside him, I stood in front of him, my hands reaching for his face before I gave him a long and deep kiss. “I miss you today…”
He gave me a weak smile while his hands brushed against my hips. “Me too. Sit here.”
He parted his legs and moved backward, making room for me in between his thighs and I eagerly scooted my ass onto the boulder, resting my back against his hard chest.
“How was your day?” He asked.
“It was fun. I spent the whole afternoon with Jenny and the other pregnant females. We tried to do some exercises, but we ended up just chattering for almost the whole session.” I giggled, squeezing his arms wrapped around my body.
“I saw that. I passed by the training grounds to check on you before I came here. And I didn’t see any training sessions going on in there.”
“Oh! If I knew you were home already, I should have gone with you here right away.”
“It’s okay. You’re here now.”
“Are you okay? How was your day?” I asked him back.
“As usual, boring without you. But there has been a lot of improvement on the construction site where I went. In a few weeks, they can start with the finishing touches and it will be ready to launch.”
“That’s good to hear. Can I come with you next time?”
“Maybe when it’s not that dusty and muddy there.”
“I’m not that picky.”
“You’re pregnant.”
“So? I’m not that sensitive. And besides, I won’t be eating the dust there.”
“Hmmm… Really?” He chuckled. Last night we talked about a condition where some pregnant women have cravings for non-edible things such as dirt, clay, and the likes.
“I’ll probably just smell and get aroused by the smell of cement.”
“Nadia…” He grunted before placing a soft kiss on the crown of my head as I giggled. “You and your mouth.”
I didn’t say anything more. I could sense the sadness in his emotions.
“Did you know when I was seven, I received a bow and arrow from my aunt, Luna Graciella? She told me how fascinated Zahra was with archery when she was pregnant with me. So she thought maybe I should give it a try.”
I held my breath and tried to keep my heartbeat steady. He was starting to talk now, and I wished he would continue until he poured out everything inside of him.
“And my young self thought that if Zahra discovers that I excel at archery, she might come to see me compete or perform somewhere.” So I asked my father to find me the best coach for this sport, and he complied. I trained almost every fucking day, and after a year, I was already excelling in my age bracket. My father was proud, but he had no idea why I wanted this sport so much. But Zahra never showed up, not even once.
I should have quit when I realized she would never show up, even if I turned out to be the best archer in the world because even then I would still never be good enough for her. At eight, I stopped expecting that I would receive gifts from her. I stopped expecting she would show up and surprise me. I stopped expecting it at eight years old. While all the other pups would tell me what they told their parents they wanted for their birthdays, I just kept my mouth shut. Because I stopped asking Dad for the gift I wanted.
But I never stopped trying to excel. Not for her anymore. But for myself. I thought maybe, if I turned out to be better than my father, if I excelled at something or everything, then perhaps my mate would never have a reason to leave me.”
My heart was crushed by his words. He was still too young, but he was thinking of ways not to be left behind.
“I was only eight years old, yet I grew up that fast because of her. And then Andrea was around. She was the exact opposite of my mother. She’s an Omega. And Omega they say is the most submissive and loyal. So I thought maybe with her, I would never have to be alone. Maybe she won’t hurt me. But I didn’t know pain could come from all ranks. I know you already know by now how fucked up I am. But I swear, there’s more to me than these fucked up things I’ve done. And that I’m trying my best.”
I turned my body around so I was sitting sideways on his lap, my hands cupping his jaws as I urged him to look at me. “Quit trying to be better so people will like you. Or so people will stay. Because whenever someone leaves, it doesn’t always mean that something is wrong with you. Sometimes, it is just how life is.”
I let my thumb brush on his skin as I continued. “Andrea didn’t leave you because you were not good enough. She left because her heart belonged to someone else. The same reason I left Elliot, or Benedict. I didn’t accept them because I knew my heart will always belong to my mate, to you. And if, even for a second you think you’re not good enough for me, stop it. Because you, Riley Adams, even without your Alpha badge, even without those bows and arrows, even without this territory, you and Hunter, you’re all I ever want and need. I’ve told you before, and I’ll tell you again, and I’ll never get tired of telling you: I’m yours. I’ll stay if you do. You and me against everyone else. The only time I will leave you is if you push me away again.”
