“Yes. I almost forgot.” I let out a sigh before leaning my back against the couch.
“Do you want me to read the letter for you?”
“Yes. It was just probably Dad scolding me or telling me what I needed to do to be a perfect Alpha.” I let out another sigh while Nadia remained silent. “But I was hoping he wrote something about Zahra.”
“Shall we find out?” She asked, tilting her head to the side to look at me. A warm smile curled on her lips, giving me the push to do what I needed to do.
I scooped her from my lap as I stood up, placing her gently on the couch before I grabbed my shirt on the floor and helped her pull it on over her body. I still had my shorts on and that was enough to cover me.
I went to the biggest bookshelf and crouched in front of it, taking all the books in one area before knocking the wood open, revealing an old safe. I put in the combination I had memorized since I was a little boy before twisting the lock open.
We have many vaults around the packhouse, but this one was something where my father chose to place everything important to him. I slipped my hand in and took the letter he left me.
Not known to my people, my father took his own life by plunging his car into a ravine after he placed a shackle around his neck to avoid him from shifting into his wolf. He was dead when we found him. And I ordered everyone I was with at that time to keep it secret. No one has to know that the former Alpha took his own life.
And the event only fueled my hate for my mother. Even without saying it, I believed she was the reason he took his life.
A week before his accident, I overheard him talking to his former Beta, Dominic’s father, about how he saw my mother with her mate in one of the places he went to.
I didn’t hear the rest of it since I left immediately, not wanting to hear anything about her.
And I was sure that was what the letter was about—how despite the years, he still hadn’t forgotten her. And that even without her knowing, she still kept breaking my father’s heart. It was the reason I didn’t read the letter at all.
I closed the vault and stood up, taking the letter with me before handing it to Nadia. I sat beside her and she positioned herself on my lap before she ripped the envelope carefully and pulled out the letter inside.
“Shall I read it out loud for you?” She asked softly, and I just nodded my head, leaning my back against the couch, my coiled fists just remaining on my sides.
She took a breath before she unfolded and began reading.
Riley, my son,
This letter will not convey everything I want to tell you, but I will make an attempt. There were just too many things over the years that I should have shared with you, but I didn’t.
You’re the only thing I have, and the only thing holding me back was the fear that you would realize I wasn’t any better. I hope you know that I tried my hardest for you, to make up for being alone in raising you. I did what I thought was best for you and for you to continue looking up to me.
When you read this, I might already be gone. And I want you to start thinking about yourself and your future.
I want you to stop and think twice, or even a hundred times, before you claim Andrea if she doesn’t turn out to be your fated mate. Because one day, her own mate will come, and there’s nothing you can do to stop her from leaving you. I know this because I lived that life. I lived with that lie for almost my entire life.
I am proud of that. But it gave me you, thus I never regretted it. And I would live that lie again, because of you.
You might be confused by what I’ve written here, but I will try to explain. Forgive me if I have to do it this way. I don’t think I can look you in the eyes and tell you the truth.
Your mother and I are never fated mates. But we did love each other at one point in our lives. I claimed her and told everyone she was my fated mate, despite her refusal. In the end, she became mine, and no one knew of our secret until she was no longer happy with me. Until she found her mate.
She decided to leave. And I couldn’t let her take you. Because you were the only thing left to me. Without her and without you, I would be nothing. I needed you, Riley, to keep me going. Soforgive me, my son, because I made you believe she never wanted you.
I was fearful for the day that you would choose her over me. So I kept lying, just so I could have you for myself. And although I was in pain from her leaving, I couldn’t find it in my heart to hate her. I loved your mother, and I know I will love her until my last breath.
You know her name as Zahra. But she goes by Monica Grayson now.
Here is her address. I want you to look for her as my final wish.
Tell her I said I’m sorry. Let her tell you the things I couldn’t tell you. And when you hear the complete truth, I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me.
But if you decide I am not worth your forgiveness, I would accept it. It might be the price I have to pay for being selfish all this time. But son, I want you to know that I love you. And I am proud of you and what you’ve become.
“Enough,” I told Nadia to stop. I didn’t want to hear the rest of it.
