“I wonder what she’s doing back here?” Ryder said, still rocking Leo, who had his eyes closed and seemed happy right where he was, nestled against his uncle.
Jay couldn’t imagine what that was like for a child. Knowing that when you opened your eyes each day, you had a dozen people in your corner who would go to war for you if they needed to.
His eyes went back to Blue. She was hugging Phoebe, Ryder’s partner, now because they’d been tight in New York.
“So what country’s secrets are you harboring now, bud?” Dan asked Jay, pulling him from the reunion.
“I’d have to kill you if I told you.”
“So throw us a bone here, Jay,” Ryder said. “You work at the Pentagon, right? And what? Fly out to places and do shit that no one knows about? I mean, this is just speculation because you’ve never broken under interrogation from any of us.”
“But what you do is top secret, right?” Dan asked. “And as your friend, you should tell me something.”
“We’ve covered this already, and I’m not talking about it,” Jay said.
“Let’s be honest here. He could be secretly working for a pottery conglomerate and we’d be none the wiser,” Dan added.
“Pottery conglomerate is the best you could come up with?” Jay asked.
Dan shrugged.
“He might be the secret holder of the best brownie recipe ever made,” Ryder added.
Jay fought the need to look over his shoulder to where Blue was while the men around him came up with even more ludicrous things he could be the secret holder of.
The truth was, that woman had turned him inside out that night in New York, and he hadn’t been able to get her out of his head.
What he also hadn’t been able to do was find her again. He didn’t have her number or address. This was the first time he’d seen her in three months.
Where has she been?
“It hurts, bud, that you won’t come clean with me,” Dan said. “I’m a law enforcement officer.”
Although Dan said the words with a laugh, Jay realized the truth behind them when he looked at his friend.
“Why is it important that you know?”
Dan shrugged. “Because you’re one of my brothers, and I know everything about the rest of them.”
The warmth slid through him like warm honey. Hearing someone talk about him like that never got old. The scared and lonely boy he’d been no longer existed except for deep down inside him.
“I am contracted,” Jay said. “I have worked in national security, but honestly, Dan, it’s nothing exciting.”
“What do you do?”
“Logistics mainly. I work shit out they can’t.” Which was close to the truth.
“Have you been overseas a lot?” Ryder asked. “Because you leave here, and suddenly it’s radio silence.”
“Yes. I have, and often I am not contactable.”
He’d never spoken like this and wasn’t sure why he was now, but seeing the hurt he’d inflicted on the first person to show him love, Jay realized that he was being selfish.
The fact that these people actually cared about him sometimes still rocked him.
“Been into any war zones?”
Jay nodded at Dan’s question.
