‘But,’ I say.
She nods, clearly having been waiting for it.
‘I wreck relationships. I’ve had a lot. All bad. Not only have they all ended, most of them have ended negatively. I care about you too much to do that to you.’
‘Right.’ She picks up her Kindle.
‘And Vinny warned me off,’ I continue. ‘And he was right.’
‘What?’ She places her Kindle down very deliberately onto her lap. ‘Why would he do that? Were youdiscussingme?’
‘No. Basically, it turns out that our mothers set us up on this trip in the hope of getting us together. Your mum told Vinny. And he messaged me and told me to leave his sister alone because he doesn’t want you to get hurt. Especially when you’re straight out of a difficult marriage break-up.’
‘When did he send that?’
‘Yesterday.’
‘Right.’ Flavia looks a lot angrier than I would ever have imagined she could. Her mouth is very straight and her jaw very set and her eyes are daggers. ‘And what did you do about that message?’
‘I said… okay.’
‘And then?’
I wince. ‘Well… then I ignored it. I mean, in the short term. But now I’m kind of observing it.’ I’m pretty sure I sound like an absolute dickhead but I don’t really know what else to say. ‘I mean, yes, I am observing it.’
‘Wow.’ Flavia shakes her head, while maintaining her homicidal look. ‘Setting aside the question of why my moronic brother thinks it’s okay to interfere in my life, what aboutyou? You let your football and pub buddy dictate how you treat another adult? You’re nearly thirty-six, not sixteen. Pathetic.’
‘Um.’ I’m doing the right thing. I’m trying to protectherfrom getting hurt. ‘I mean, I think I’m proving right now that I can’t do relationships. I can’t even do this conversation.’
Flavia’s glare becomes even more pronounced.
She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. I think she might be counting to ten.
Then she opens her eyes, and says, very, very slowly, ‘You. Dick. Youarrogantdick.’ She leans closer and says very, very quietly, so that I have to lean in to hear her, ‘Has it occurred to you atallthatImight not be looking for a relationship? ThatImight have been extremely keen for some no-strings sex? That you might just be a rebound fling after my marriage breakdown? And, by the way, that if Iwerelooking for a relationship, it wouldnotbe with someone who has the biological age of thirty-six but the maturity of a toddler?’
I say nothing and don’t move either. I cannot think of anything I could say or do that would make Flavia less angry right now.
‘I separated from my husband a few months ago. I am not ready for a new relationship. Especially since Jed told me yesterday that he wants to get back with me and try for kids.’
‘Wow.’ I was not expecting that. I feel like I’ve been doused in cold water. ‘So, for you this really was… just sex?’
Flavia looks at me for a long time, and then she says, ‘I don’t know.’
I can’t remember the last time I cried, but my eyes feel pre-tears heavy right now.
‘Are you… going to get back together with Jed?’ I ask.
‘I don’t know.’
‘You aren’t back with him now?’
Flavia looks even angrier. She’s white-knuckle gripping her Kindle so hard I think it could crack.
‘Are you suggesting that I would have had sex with you if I were back with Jed?’
‘No.’ I shake my head. ‘No. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Of course not.’ I do know that she would never, ever do that.
She nods, like she knows I know she wouldn’t and I was just being as stupidly crap as she’s obviously coming to expect.
