‘Are you having second thoughts?’ she asks.
‘No.’ I don’t really want to tell her that I was distracted by looking at her.Reallydistracted.
‘Good,’ she says, and places a thumb inside the band of her pants, before beginning to remove them.
I should really catch up. I take my trousers off, before realising that this is actually now really embarrassing, because it’s quite obvious right now how much my body likes hers.
I do the only thing Icando at this point, which is whip my boxers off, chuck them generally in the direction of the rock, and sprint towards the water.
Once I’m waist-height in the water, I turn round, to see Flavia, naked, running towards the water herself. I honestly can’t imagine anything that I would more enjoy seeing.
‘It’s cold,’ she shrieks as the water reaches her knees. ‘How is that possible?’
‘Coward,’ I say, as she slows her walk right down.
‘Iama coward,’ she agrees. ‘It’sfreezing.’
‘It isn’tthatcold, and also you’ll warm up as soon as you’re in properly.’
When she joins me, I really want to take her in my arms. I also, though, think that, now we’re doing this, we should do it properly, and actually swim.
‘Swim to that rock?’ I suggest, pointing a little way along from us, parallel to the beach. I swim quite a lot but I don’t know how strong a swimmer Flavia is, and I also don’t know the currents here, so I think we should be sensible and stay close to the shore.
Flavia nods and strikes out in a very strong front crawl, and I mentally bollock myself for having assumed that someone who doesn’t like running might not be a great swimmer.
It’s magical swimming naked in the moonlight. Truly glorious.
‘Everyone should do this,’ I say when we’ve reached the rock and are holding on to it.
‘Are you saying I was right?’
I move my hold on the rock so that I have one arm either side of her, and kiss her full on the mouth.
‘I’m beginning to think you’re always right,’ I tell her between deep, passionate kisses.
‘Mmm.’ She wriggles, and I groan, and lift her, and then somehow her legs are round my waist, and then, obviously, because it was always going to happen, we make messy, chaotic, outdoor love.
And, God, I think, when we’re lying on the rock in each other’s arms, still gasping, for me thatwasmaking love. It wasn’t just having sex.
I think I fell in love with Flavia all those years ago, and I think I still love her.
And because I love her… I need to think what’s right forher, not me.
She’s shivering, I notice.
‘Let’s go,’ I say. ‘You’re getting cold. Let’s go and join the party again, warm up.’
I’m going to allow myself the rest of tonight before I think properly about what I should do. I do actuallyknow, I suppose, and I don’t want to acknowledge it now to myself.
We swim back, side by side, and with every stroke we do together, I realise more and more how much I love her.
When you love someone, you have to put what’s right for them ahead of what might make you happy in the short term. I need to remember that.
* * *
When we get back to the beach, we discover that the tide has come in a little while we were in the sea, and my idea of leaving our clothes on a rock was a very good one. Except…
‘Dominic.’ Flavia’s pointing and trying not to laugh.
