‘I run quite a lot,’ he says, ‘probably four times a week. I go to the gym a lot less than I’d like but just enough to make my membership worthwhile. And I play five-a-side football once a week. And unlike you I don’t have that many ideas about else I’d do if I stopped work.’
‘I feel like you’d find stuff,’ I say confidently. ‘You just have to be open-minded about trying stuff and then almost anything can be interesting. After Jed and I separated—’ weird that I don’t mind referring to the split ‘—and I moved back home I felt a little adrift. I feel like you could have a similar feeling of lack of purpose and far too much time on your hands if you stopped work. I just said yes to absolutely everything, and both got busier quickly and enjoyed a lot of stuff I wouldn’t have expected to ever do. I think spontaneity is a very good thing sometimes.’
‘That’s wise,’ he says slowly.
I laugh. ‘It really isn’t.’
‘No, it is.’ He grips my hand more tightly for a moment, and I look up at him.
He makes a small movement in my direction, which actually makes me wonder whether he’s briefly tempted maybe to kiss me. I woulddefinitelywelcome that kiss.
But then he pulls his eyes away and looks over my head into the distance, and says, ‘This scenery. Stunning.’
‘Yeah,’ I agree.
And then we stop talking about ourselves and just watch and wonder.
We see springbok and impala and the trails of bigger animals. And then, next to a watering hole, we see elephants. They’re so majestic, we’re all completely awestruck, everyone mute. When one of them suddenly turns and sprays water from its trunk in our direction, catching me right in the face, it’s an incredible moment of communing with nature at its best.
And it’s all made so much better – if that were possible – because I’m sharing it with Dominic. And the others, of course, some of whom I’m already sure I’ll stay in touch with for a long time. But especially Dominic. Every time something amazing happens, he’s right there beside me, reacting with the exact same awe that I experience.
Maybe we aren’t so opposite after all.
‘Ideal for the busy woman,’ he says after I’m sprayed by the elephant. ‘No need for a shower today now.’ Objectively that is not at all witty; it’s just very mild Dad-style humour at best. But maybe it’s Dominic’s delivery. Or something. Because it really tickles me.
He smiles at my giggles, and again I have the sense that maybe, if the others weren’t here, he’d be tempted to kiss me.
I really, really wish he would. My temptation levels – despite the fact that we’re on possibly the best walk of my life and I should be thinking only about that – arehigh. I’m remembering last night again. I think if he’d eventwitchedin my direction, I’d have launched myself at him.
My attention (or ninety per cent of it, anyway; I just cannot help being a little bit conscious of Dominic at all times) is diverted by our guide to three impala in the distance and I make a conscious effort to listen hard to what he says while watching the animals’ impossibly graceful run on their spindly legs.
When we’re told that it’s time to return for breakfast, I think we all feel that we could have carried on walking around the bush forever; it’s been amazing.
‘Breakfast will be ready in twenty-five minutes,’ Maxim, ever precise, informs us once we’re back in the lodge. ‘Time for you to freshen up or just relax. And then, of course, once you’re done with breakfast, we’ll head back out into the bush.’
Dominic and I – without discussing it – both head back towards our room.
‘I’m soooo tired.’ I’d like to crawl straight back into bed for a nap, but that would be a little weird in front of Dominic, so instead I flop down onto the sofa that was temporarily my bed last night.
‘That was a very early start,’ Dominic agrees. He comes and sits down on the other sofa.
I smile at him, and then stretch. I see him watch me and then swallow, hard. And, suddenly, I’m a lot less tired than I was.
I feel so close to Dominic right now, the way he’s helped me with my fears, how nice it is talking to him, laughing with him (even when we are apparently the only two people in the world who would find our conversation funny), experiencing this wonderful trip together.
And Ireallywant him to kiss me.
He’s definitely thinking about it. I see him watching my mouth, and then my body, his eyes travelling slowly down. He’s fully focused, like he’s almost devouring me from a distance.
I sit up a little straighter, and moisten my lips with the tip of my tongue. Dominic just watches me, leaning back on his sofa, hands in pockets, long legs stretched out in front of him. I shift slightly forward towards the edge of the sofa and bite my lip. Dominic makes a small, deep sound in the back of his throat.
And suddenly, I realise something. Despite his reputation as a serial heartbreaker, Dominic is, I think a very decent person. And we have been forced to share a bedroom, which means that if he made a move on me, and I didn’t want him to, I could then feel very uncomfortable for the rest of the trip. I don’t think Dominic is going to allow himself to go further than holding my hand. I think hehasbeen tempted to kiss me.
I think I’m going to beveryfrustrated by the end of this trip.
Unless…
I don’t usually take the initiative with men, but Dominic’s made me feel braver full stop.
