I take a very deep breath, to try to steady myself, and catch Dominic’s eyes travelling down towards my chest again. I’m ashamed to say that I amlovingthe way he’s blatantly attracted to me right now. I mean, I know it doesn’t mean anything. He has, after all, had alotof girlfriends. And I’m not in the market for anything of a romantic nature with him or anyone else right now. Especially with Jed sending confusing texts to me. But I’d be lying if I said that I didn’tlovethis moment with Dominic, his overt appreciation of me in this dress, the anticipation of the night ahead, the feeling that – just for this evening – I have the undivided attention of a very attractive man.
‘You should come and look at the view,’ Dominic tells me, his voice still low. He guides me towards the edge of the terrace with a hand held close to the small of my back. We go via a man proffering a tray of full-to-the-brim champagne glasses, from which I take one. When I stop to take a sip and Dominic’s hand actually touches me, I get a complete head-to-toe shiver.
‘Look at this,’ he says when we’ve dodged through the rest of the group, who are talking in twos and threes behind us, and have reached the edge of the terrace.
I hadn’t seen the view from this vantage point properly until now because the others were in the way. (They’re a surprisingly tall group of people.)
‘My goodness,’ I breathe.
The bush stretches ahead of us as far as the eye can see and is topped with the most glorious sunset, in hues of orange, pink and purple. It’s the kind of thing you could stand and watch for hours on end, not getting bored, just marvelling. Straining my eyes, I pick out the occasional movement on the ground.
‘Are we seeing nocturnal animals coming out for the night?’ I ask Dominic.
‘Think so.’
‘I’m not even scared,’ I say happily. It feelsrightthat they’re out there, doing their thing, undisturbed by humans, and it feelsrightto be here, on this terrace, next to Dominic. I feel kind of… protected.
I sense Dominic move a little closer to me, and find myself inching in his direction too, until our sides are nearly touching.
I wonder for a moment what it would be like to bewithDominic, forever. Have evenings like this – be they in the South African bush or my flat in London – for always. I feel so differently now about him from how I did twenty-four hours ago. Wearevery different, it seems. But I’ve discovered that on top of all the gorgeousness he has going on he’s very kind as well as great company. Ilovebeing with him.
I don’t know him, though. I mean, Ido. But I don’t.
I feel like I’m in danger of falling down the love-at-first-sight rabbit hole again.
There is no such thing, I remind myself sternly. You can’t fall in love with someone you don’t know. And when youdothink you’ve fallen in love with someone, there’s no guarantee of a happy ending. Jed.
Okay, I’m overthinking again. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to waste being in this spectacular location with this amazing man. I’m going to stop thinking and just enjoy the evening and store the memory of it forever.
Dominic moves again and I do too and now we’re standing right next to each other, our bodies fully touching. I’m actually surprised that I’m still on my feet, because my insides are turning to liquid now and I’m not sure I can remember how to breathe.
This view and this man: I can’t imagine a more perfect place anywhere on Earth right now.
There’s a sudden movement right below our terrace and I jump and give a little squeak.
Dominic slides his arm round my waist and hugs me against him for a moment.
‘You’re completely safe here,’ he tells me, his voice husky.
‘Thank you. I know I am.’ I’m not sure that’s true, though. Physically, yes. I do feel completely safe in the lodge, here with Dominic. Right now I feel as though he could protect me against any animal – even though that’s probably not actually true. Emotionally, though… I’m beginning to think that I need to be careful… I don’t want another broken heart. Damn him for beingniceas well as gorgeous.
Whatever, though. When I think about my dad, and Jed, I know that you have to take happiness wherever you find it, and right here, right now, Iamtruly happy.
Dominic keeps his arm round me, holding me against him, and I stay there in the circle of his arm, against his warmth and solidity, watching the sun go down, sipping my champagne. We don’t really talk, we just stand there, and it’s perfect.
We’re joined after a while by Mike. I really can’t say how long we were standing there on our own – it’s like time was suspended.
‘Fantastic day,’ he says.
Judith pops up next to him.
‘What were your absolute highlights?’ she asks.
Charlotte and Kris join the conversation too. While the others all discuss the most amazing parts of the day – of which there were many – I speak quietly to Dominic.
‘Obviously everything we’re all saying was a true highlight,’ I say, ‘but I think I gained something else too. The whole facing your fears thing. For me, because I always kind of act now, think later, I don’t rationalise my irrational fears. Flying. Big animals. I think you showed me thatthinking, maybeplanning, a little more, can help. I mean, today it helped a lot. I had just as amazing a time as everyone else did. And with flying… maybe I’ll go rational with that too. You know I have sometimes turned down cheap holiday offers, or gone on really tortuous routes, to avoid flying.’
‘Wow.’ Dominic’s eyes crinkle in a very lovely way around the edges. ‘I feel honoured to have helped in any way, and equally honoured that you told me. Thankyou.’
