I pause, my eyes wide from shock. How can he be so certain and so calm? Not going back, we will burn it.
“But this is just an overnight mission, Wolvrin will be here soon.”
The words go unnoticed as his hands move to the hem of my shirt, untucking it from the pants. He holds the shirt’s hem and looks at me, waiting for me to say no. But the words never come, and he pulls the shirt off over my head, throwing it on the floor.
Cayden moves for my boots next, kneeling down in front of me and unlacing them before pulling them off and throwing them across the bathroom, then reaching the button of my pants. Again, I don’t stop him.
His touch is gentle and slow, almost like he’s afraid I’ll stop him at any point, like he’s wanting me to stop him, but the words never come out. Once he undoes the button, Cayden’s eyes meet one more time, waiting, then the pants fall down my legs.
“Are you sure no one is coming?” I whisper. My voice trembles slightly, the way he’s watching my every movement is making me unsteady.
“I’m sure, darling.” The pants join the pile of my discarded clothes as Cayden looks over me, standing back up and cupping my face in his hands.
“You are so beautiful.”
My heart is racing. My body feels like it never has before, it feels on fire. Every time Cayden touches me, my skin burns, yet it doesn’t hurt. His lips meet mine, and I don’t hesitate in pulling him closer. My arms wrap around his neck while his arms wrap around my waist, holding me close. I feel the heat of his chest against mine. My mind goes fuzzy, and some locked away part of me comes out, the part so desperate to be held, loved.
The little girl I killed to survive.
Cayden’s kiss is desperate, like he’s afraid he won’t ever kiss again. Our lips move with a desperation that makes my legs feel weak. Cayden is consuming me, and I don’t know how to stop it. How can I when he’s already seeped into my bones, my heart?
“My brave Darlia,” he murmurs against my lips before parting mine with his tongue and taking control of the kiss, of me. I don’t know how to respond. Am I supposed to do the same thing back? Am I supposed to say something?
After what feels like hours I pull away gasping, desperate for air. Cayden doesn’t stop, he can’t. His lips move down to my neck, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses. It’s a mix of gentle and hard that makes my body ache with desire.
That’s what I’m feeling, desire.
“Cayden,” I whimper, not sure if I’m asking him to stop or keep going. His arms move down to my thighs, pulling me up and making me wrap my legs around his waist. The distance from the bathroom to the bed is made in five quick strides, and after he throws me onto the bed, he’s on top of me.
“Beautiful. So beautiful.”
Cayden’s lips leave my neck, and for a moment, he just looks down at me, like he’s trying to memorise every detail. His pupils have dilated. “You are so perfect.”
Our lips connect again, and this time it’s gentle. There’s no rush in the way our lips move together. He’s taking his time, savouring the moment now. Cayden’s hands move to my hips in a gentle grasp as he pulls me closer to him, making me break the kiss with a gasp.
“I have waited so long for you, Darlia.”
A sensation runs through my body unlike ever before. My core aches, begging for attention it’s never even known. I’m too overwhelmed, and I can’t handle this. There’s enough going on as it is, I don’t want to complicate it even more.
“We should stop.” I pull back breathlessly, and instantly Cayden moves back.
“Are you alright, darling? Did I hurt you?”
I shake my head as his eyes rake over my body, looking for injury anyway. Once Cayden’s sure I’m okay, he sits down beside me, taking my hand in his.
“Talk to me, love. What’s going on in that pretty head?”
I wish I knew. There’s so much going on all at once and this, the need I’ve never felt before, it feels wrong and I don’t like it. I don’t want it. “I just, I felt uncomfortable.” I decide honesty is the best option. Cayden would want to know the truth, and I have no reason to hide it.
“What made you uncomfortable, baby?”
“The feeling…I get this feeling when you kiss me.”
His smile breaks out into a full-blown grin, and he presses his lips together, trying his best not to laugh.
“Oh, love.” Cayden shakes his head, continuing to try his best not to laugh at me, and I feel anger rising up in me. How dare he laugh at me. “Baby, that’s normal. It’s a normal feeling. They never taught you about sex in The Academy?”
I shake my head. Sex. The word sounds dirty.
