Eat as a group, eat until you’re full, and never go to sleep without saying goodnight.
I don’t really understand the last one, but I’m sure I’ll understand one day. Maybe I’ll even ask her, but I just don’t have the energy for that at the moment.
“Here, try this, love.” Cayden lifts some of the garlic bread to my lips, but I shake my head, declining.
“No, I’m okay. I’m not hungry.” He raises a brow, knowing I’m lying, but also understanding how overwhelmed I am.
“Would you rather go eat in private? I’m sure Mum will find it reasonable.”
“I don’t want to disrespect her rules on the first night here.”
A deep laugh bubbles from Cayden’s chest, causing a wave of relief to hit me. He grabs my plate before grabbing his own, earning a glare from his mother. But she takes one look at me and nods as Cayden leads me away.
“See? Problem solved.”
He’s so proud of himself, his dimples are on show for me to see as he chuckles, walking us over to the other side of the house where a small table and chairs are outside. “How are you feeling, love?” Cayden asks softly, placing my plate down and sitting down in front of me.
“I don’t know,” I admit, watching as he waits for me to continue.
“I’m so overwhelmed. Like I’m happy to have everyone back, but I’m still sore. I’m still trying to process everything that happened at the re-education site. I’m still trying to process that my entire life has been a lie, it feels like I can’t breathe. I haven’t had any time to process any of it, and the little time I did have was spent on Lauren.”
Cayden doesn’t say anything as he intertwines our fingers on the table, squeezing them gently and offering me a quiet reassurance as he waits for me to continue.
“It just feels like it’s been one thing after the other. And usually I could handle it, I mean targets are easy, there is no connection. I just do my job and leave, but being here, dealing with Lauren, knowing The Academy lied…I don’t even know what to think anymore, or what to believe.”
“Believe in me, I told you that I would never lie to you.”
“I know, I know that I do. But it’s so hard.”
“Then tell me how to make it easier.” There’s no hesitation in his words as he says them, like the words are simple and easy and I can give him an answer he wants. But how am I supposed to do that when I don’t even know how to make it easier?
“Just be here with me? I just need some time alone, no one else but you.”
“I can pitch a tent and we can camp out here for the night.” I laugh, shaking my head. He’s completely serious, I can tell, but the idea of making him put up a tent just to make me happy, no, I wouldn’t ask for that.
“No, no I don’t need that. Thank you, though.” I’m still laughing when he grabs the garlic bread again and holds it out to me.
“You need to eat, love. And trust me, you’ll be mad at me if I don’t make you try this while it’s warm.” Reluctantly, I take a bite, and immediately he’s right. It’s perfect, amazing even. The soft fluffy bread, the crispy crust, the buttery garlic melted on top.
“Oh my god, what is this?”
Cayden laughs so hard he almost falls off the chair. “This is going to be so much fun, I can’t wait till you discover everything that’s been kept from you.”
We end up watching the stars in the sky as night falls. All the other girls have gone inside; apparently Moira has something called board games, which they all like to play, but right now I’m in my own world. Just me, Cayden, and the stars.
He pulls me in closer to him, his arm wrapping around my shoulder as I lay my head on his chest, curled into his side. “You know, sometimes you can see shooting stars out here. There’s this old saying that if you see a shooting star and make a wish, your dream would come true.”
Cayden stops only to place a kiss to the top of my head before continuing. “One time, I was out here with Olivia. She saw one, and I didn’t. She wished that she didn’t have to go to school anymore. Then the whole government took over, and for over a year, she thought that it was her fault, that her wish made everything happen.” He laughs softly, the sound deep in his chest which only makes me love it more.
“When she finally told me, I laughed at her. I didn’t mean to; I knew how she felt was real. But it seemed so obscene for her to even think that. I mean so many kids every single day wish for no more school, but no, my sister thought that everything was her fault.”
Just then, a shooting star passes over our heads, and he leans down, whispering in my ear, “Make a wish, love.” So I do.
I haven’t made many wishes in my life, but if I was ever going to make one, it would be now. I close my eyes, saying the words in my mind, I wish to be safe.
But then Cayden rolls me onto my back, lying on top of me and resting his weight on his arms that frame either side of my head. “You are so beautiful, you know that?” I smile as he leans down and kisses me.
There’s something about Cayden kissing me under the stars that should be studied, because my heart flutters and my mind goes hazy.
