The girl in the mirror stares back at me from the depths of myself. She’s scared, and she has lost her grip on what’s good in this world. Her hand reaches up and meets mine on the cool glass in a last-ditch effort to find faith in something. A small smile pulls at her lips, as if she found a savior in herself.
But it’s all bullshit.
Her smiling face splinters into shards, appearing deformed and far more grotesque than before. That light that she seeks–that everyone seeks–is only there to deceive, to blind her from the truth. It’s all a facade. She will not be who I trap inside. I will not hide heraway and soothe her. I will not allow her to exist.
My hand drops from the mirror and wiggles the small piece of glass sticking out of the knuckle on my other hand, silencing that part of myself that is screaming for love.
Not anymore, little girl.
From here on out, we go through the motions.
We survive.
CADY
Erick, Bobby, and I listen to Hazel sob in her bedroom. She must have finally looked at herself. It’s gut wrenching to sit here and not go to her, but she needs this time without me up in her face telling her it’s going to be okay. She doesn’t want to hear that shit right now. Fuck, I don’t want to hear that shit right now. I can deal with a lot, but this feeling of helplessness is eating me alive. I hate it.
Erick grabs my twisting hands and pulls them apart, lacing his fingers with mine. He opens his mouth to speak, but then stops and rethinks his words. Shaking his head, he squeezes my hand and doesn’t even try.
“I know.” I’m at a loss for words too.
We’re all exhausted and running on fumes. I’m scared to sleep in case Hazel needs me. Hell, that’s not the only reason. I’ve pushed the images of Hazel out of my mind all day. Allowing myself torest may cause me to have nightmares after what I’ve seen, and I don’t want to see that again. I don’t want to feel that terror again. I hope and pray that when Hazel finally falls asleep, she’s not revisited by that fucking bastard. She’s endured this twice now and doesn’t need to relive it in her dreams too. They should be a safe place, somewhere to escape what she’s been through.
I lean my head back against the couch as Bobby gets up from the kitchen table and starts digging through her cabinets. Within a couple of minutes, a pot of coffee is brewing. It smells so much better than the crap the hospital was serving.
A ringing breaks the tired silence of the room. Everyone’s heads turn to Hazel’s cell phone on the counter. There’s only a handful of people who would call her. I pick it up and see Cash’s name lit up on the screen.
“Hello.”
“Um, hi.” There’s a pause, as if he’s checking his phone to make sure he called the right number. “Is Hazel there?”
“She is, but she can’t talk right now, Cash.” Bobby stops fiddling with the coffee cups and pays attention to me. “When are you coming back?”
“Why? What happened?”
I take a deep breath, deliberating how I even begin explaining the situation to him. He doesn’t give me time.
“What the fuck is going on, Cady?” His voice roarsthrough the phone making me flinch.
“Phil, uh, he hurt her. It’s bad.” I attempt to swallow the knot forming in my throat.
“When?” he falters.
“Right after you left.”
A loud thump comes from Hazel’s room, followed by screams. I drop the phone and run for her.
“Hazel,” I yell as I round the corner toward her door, but arms grab me from behind yanking me back. “Let go of me!”
“No,” Bobby states, holding me tighter and pulling me back into the kitchen. “I made her a promise.”
“Let her go,” Erick yells.
“I’m not letting go until she promises to stay in the kitchen.”
“What the fuck, Bobby! She needs me,” I yell at him, fighting with his hands.
“No, she doesn’t. What she needs is time,” Bobby’s voice cracks. “Unless she screams for help, you are to stay out of her room.”
