“Ella.” Conor’s voice is filled with anguish. I know it’s because he’s a big part of why it was so difficult, but I’ve forgiven him. He can’t change the past, only the present and the future. The same is true for my dad.
“I also told him that I forgive him for what he did. I’m not ready to go back to how things used to be.” I let out a self-deprecating laugh as I trace a circle with my fingers on the table in front of me. “Not that we even could if we wanted to. But I think I’m going to start writing letters to him.”
Connor reaches across the table to grab my hand. “That’s really great. I’m really proud of you.”
I look up at him. “Really?”
“Of course. That’s a really big step.”
I smile in earnest with his praise. When I’d finished writing everything down that I wanted, the letter ended upbeing ten pages. I put an extra stamp on the envelope because I wasn’t sure if that was too many pages to mail. Without telling my mom, I dropped it in the apartment mail slot. Until it reaches my dad, Connor is the only person who knows that I wrote it. I’m glad he has encouraging things to say about it.
“You don’t think I’m being dramatic?”
He laughs. “Oh, trust me. That’s not dramatic at all.”
The waiter interrupts and takes our order. Once he’s gone, I wiggle my brows playfully. “What did your parents do this time?”
He shrugs. “Well, it was actually at the musical.”
The musical was a month ago. It’s super weird that it’s taken him so long to tell me since we usually have no problem sharing our family’s particular brands of crazy. Whatever happened must be bad. I’m on high alert when I ask, “What happened?”
Connor avoids eye contact with me. “My dad forbid me from dating you.”
What?
Is that why he chose this place? A nice farewell dinner before he breaks up with me? I knew something wasn’t right. My mouth goes dry, and I reach for the drink in front of me to take a sip. It’s difficult to swallow, and I choke on the water.
“Don’t worry,” Connor says in a hurry. “I’m not breaking up with you. He doesn’t get to tell me who I can and can’t date.”
“But what does that mean for you?”
He shrugs. “Still not sure. He’s been really quiet ever since I told him I wasn’t going to stop talking to you. I thought he might kick me out or take away my car, but he hasn’t done anything yet. I’m just chilling until further notice.”
His voice is carefree, but I know better. This was his biggest fear in losing to me for Citrus Scholar. Now, he’s faced with the consequences because he’s dating me? “Connor. That’s a big deal.”
He bites his bottom lip. “Yeah, but I’ve decided I don’t care.”
“You can’t just not care.”
“Yes, I can.” He leans forward in his seat. “I have let my dad decide my life for so long I’ve forgotten what it’s like to make decisions just for me. Dating you is something I want to do. You make me happy.”
My face warms. “You make me happy, too.”
His face breaks out into a real smile. “Good. Then it’s settled.”
If only it was that simple. There’s so much more to figure out. “Not so fast. We need to talk about what happens after graduation. I know you haven’t committed to a school yet.”
He raises his brows. “Neither have you.”
I close my eyes. “Neither have I.”
“Are you still waiting to see what happens with Citrus Scholar? Because I know you’ve got to have great scholarship packages to anywhere you want to go.”
I nod. “I do.”
“So, pick one.”
“Yeah, right.” I keep going down rabbit trails filled with what-ifs and worst-case-scenarios. I can’t make a decision, but then I realize neither has he. “And what about you? Where are you going to go?”
