I fall back on what’s comfortable because I’m afraid of what all this means. “What if I didn’t want to dance with you to another song? What a waste of money.”
He laughs. “Yeah, that would suck. But I think you do want to dance with me.”
“Oh, really? There’s that famous Connor charm again.”
“Fine, I hope you want to keep dancing with me because I want to keep dancing with you.”
I don’t bother arguing. We’d both know I was lying through my teeth. Besides, I can’t let him pay for another slow song because I waste this one. “I do.”
“Then it was worth it.”
I sigh as I lean my head against his chest. I’ve never done this with him. We haven’t even hugged before, but it feels so natural. Connor’s arms wrap around my back as he squeezes me against him. I breathe in his cologne, but beneath that is another smell. It’s just…Connor. It’s him at cross country practice, or MASE, or theater practice. Not artificial, just him. I think I might like that one just as much as his cologne. Smelling it now, wrapped in his embrace, I feel safe. I feel like I’m home.
The thought terrifies me.
Connor can’t feel like home.
He can’t be one of the most important people to me.
We are friends, and I like that we are. I’ve had a lot of fun getting to know him and teasing back and forth these last few months. But we are still competing against one another. One of us is going to get hurt in the end. And even if that wasn’t the case, senior year is almost over. We’re going to go separate ways just like Lily and me, and it’s going to be even more painful when I have to say goodbye to one more person.
I stiffen in his arms.
“What’s wrong?”
I pull away. “I can’t do this.”
“What, dance? You’re doing great.”
“No, this.” I wave my finger between us. “I’m sorry. I know you just paid for another slow song, but I gotta go.”
Then, I turn and race off the dance floor away from Connor.
16
MOST ROMANTIC
If Ella thinksthat she can just run off like that, she’s wrong.
It’s not just because all the early Christmas money I got from my grandma is now going to the DJ. I don’t care about that. What I do care about is the fact that every time we have any breakthrough in our relationship, something comes up.
I can’t let that happen again. We’ve only got two school days next week before we go on winter break, and those don’t really count since we’re taking midterms. Then, my family is going to Utah through the new year. I’m afraid I won’t get a chance to talk to Ella after this dance, and I have things I need to say.
I push through the crowd of students, keeping my eyes glued to Ella and that blue dress that she’s wearing. She looks beautiful in it. It’s the same color as her eyes, a shade of blue that has quickly become my newfavorite color.
Maybe it always has been. I loved watching them burn in fury when we were rivals, but I enjoy the warmth in them when we’re teasing each other. Not that I can think about that right now. Right now, I need to make sure I don’t lose sight of her.
I shuffle around a couple at the edge of the dance floor when Lily steps right in front of me. Her arms are crossed over her chest, and her glare is cold enough I have to suppress a shiver. “Connor.”
I don’t have time for whatever this is. I tilt my body to look around her. Ella hasn’t stopped moving, and more people fill the space between us with every step she takes. I’m afraid if I blink, I’ll lose sight of her. “This is kind of a bad time.”
I take a step to keep following Ella, but Lily moves in front of me. “Not for me.”
A growl escapes the back of my throat. “Yeah, well, I’m kinda in the middle of something.” I side step to the right.
Lily moves to her left and raises a brow. “Why did Ella leave the dance floor looking like she was going to cry?”
I peer around Lily but can’t see Ella anymore. Just great. I flash an impatient smile. “I don’t know. That’s what I was trying to figure out before I lost her.”
