A corner of his mouth lifted into a knowing smile. “Maybe two.”
“Maybe two. But then you need to go back to your house and get some rest too.”
“I’m fine, Erin. Really.” His eyes were earnest.
Erin nodded, and with one last glance at Parker, she walked toward the children’s room. She stumbledinto his bed, and her head barely hit the pillow before she fell asleep.
Logan satin the chair next to Erin’s bed.
Parker was sleeping peacefully. The young boy looked so tiny in Erin’s bed. The pillow his head rested on was too big, the covers too fluffy. Parker looked so small and defenseless and that terrified Logan. He couldn’t just sit here and stare at the sick boy, making sure he didn’t get worse. He needed to do something with his hands.
He spotted a basket of towels in a laundry basket on top of Erin’s dresser. Trying to determine whether they were clean, he lifted one to his face. The clean scent of lavender hit his nose, so he shook out the towel and started folding it into a tidy square. He grabbed another one and did the same thing. He continued until the basket was empty and all the towels were folded. He looked around for something else to do.
When Erin had asked him to come up to sit with Parker, Logan hadn’t hesitated to say yes. He wanted to help Erin; he wanted to be there for the kids. But once she’d gone back into the house to wait for him to get dressed, Logan had been hit with countless doubts about whether it was the right thing to do.
What did he know about taking care of kids?
The desire might be there, but Logan was lackingin wisdom when it came to cuts and bruises and fevers. Still, he was grateful that Erin trusted him enough to take him up on his offer and went to sleep. The way she swayed on her feet, he knew she needed some rest.
Not seeing anything else in the room that he was willing to mess with, Logan’s attention went back to Parker. Did he take his temperature with the thermometer Erin left on the nightstand? Did he get more water in case he woke up and was thirsty? Was he supposed to watch his chest and make sure he kept breathing?
Logan’s thoughts raced until a single thought came to his mind and stopped all the others.
Pray.
It seemed so simple, but was that really the answer? It had been a long time since Logan had prayed. He never stopped believing that God was up there, but he doubted the Lord wanted to hear anything he had to say. There was no way He wanted to hear any of Logan’s excuses of why he’d messed up so much.
The memory of his and Aunt Betty’s conversation came crashing back to him. She’d said he needed to ask for forgiveness and move on. For him, that meant taking responsibility for the things he’d skipped out on. He wanted to be there for Erin and the children. Watching over Parker so she could get some much-needed rest seemed like a great place to start.
Logan sighed as he looked out the window into thedark night sky. He needed to start with prayer. The thought still scared him, evidenced by the pounding of his heart, but he knew in this moment that this was where he needed to start.
Giving Parker one more look to make sure he was okay, Logan closed his eyes and prayed. Logan started with the way he disappeared ten years ago. He asked the Lord to forgive him for not being there for Jake, for Erin and the children, and for Aunt Betty. He asked for forgiveness for not coming back because he was too stubborn to look past his own broken heart. As he brought all of his shortcomings to the Lord, the weight he’d carried for so long lifted. His entire body felt lighter, and Logan was surprised that something so powerful could happen so quickly.
Aunt Betty had been right to point him in this direction, and Logan was sad that it had taken him so long to see the joy that could come from repenting of his sin. The relief. He wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at Parker once more.
The young boy was still sleeping, but he tossed and turned in the bed. Logan put his hand to Parker’s forehead. It was warm, but it didn’t feel terribly hot to him. He didn’t think restlessness was an emergency, and he really didn’t want to disturb Erin yet since a quick glance at the clock showed that it had only been an hour since she had left.
Pray.
Logan didn’t think praying for Parker’s fever wouldgive instant results like his previous one had, but it couldn’t hurt either. He bowed his head once more, praying for Parker this time. He prayed for the sickness in his body to go away, hoping for healing for the immediate needs. But Logan also prayed that Parker wouldn’t be too broken over the loss of his father. Those kinds of scars were deep and unseen. Logan prayed that Parker wouldn’t have the rebellious streak he’d had.
He continued to pray for Parker’s future. That the Lord would make it clear what kind of role he should play in the little boy’s life. Logan could never take the place of Jake, in the same way Aunt Betty couldn’t take the place of his own parents. And he was moving to Florida soon. What could he do for Parker from so far away? He wasn’t sure. That didn’t mean he couldn’t show unconditional love to Parker and Samantha while he was here or that he couldn’t support Erin as she strove to be a single parent to them both.
Parker whimpered as he kicked the blankets off himself. His sleepy eyes found Logan. “Dad?”
Logan’s breath caught. No, not Dad. Never Dad. But hopefully something more than Mr. West. He shook his head. His voice was soft when he said, “No, it’s ... ” He wasn’t sure what he should call himself to this boy who had asked him to come read a story to him. Logan finally settled on, “Me.”
Parker blinked several times. “Mr. Logan?”
A small smile touched Logan’s lips at the name.There was still a level of formality in it that Logan wished wasn’t there, but the fact that Parker had exchanged his last name for his first made him happy. More than happy. “Yes.”
“Where’s Mama?”
“Mama is in your bed right now. She was very tired, and I told her I would watch you so she could sleep.” Logan leaned forward in his seat. “Is that okay?”
Parker nodded. “I think that’s okay.”
“Are you thirsty? Do you want a drink of water?” Logan reached for the glass of water Erin had left on the nightstand.
