Parker stomped his foot. “I’m important.”
“Yes, and that’s why I came out to play with you,” she said, the mommy guilt back in full-force. “But remember, we shook on it and now I need to frost the cake.”
“I don’t wanna play by myself.”
Erin closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. The therapist had warned Erin that there would be good and bad days after Jake’s death, and they would be even more pronounced than the average four-year-old’s. She was sure that Parker not wanting to play alone had some deep-seated cause that went back to not having his father around.
Erin felt bad, she really did. But the cake had to get done. It wasn’t some selfish desire of hers, but how she could take care of her children. She wished there was away to convey that to Parker, but at his age, it would go in one ear and out the other.
She opened her eyes and tried to think of the best way to tell Parker this was for him, when Logan came out of the guesthouse, drying his hands on a dishtowel. Oh, great. Just what Erin needed, for Logan to see one of her parenting fails.
“Everything okay?” he asked as he approached.
“I don’t wanna play by myself and Mama wants to frost a cake instead.”
“Has to,” Erin said. “Ihave tofrost the cake.”
“But I want you to play with me.” His voice got increasingly whiny as the conversation continued. Erin struggled to catch her breath as the pressure of trying to do it all consumed her.
“I can play with you,” Logan said, looking at Parker. “I just finished my chores and was planning on taking a break. Throwing a ball around sounds like a mighty fine way to spend it.”
Parker bounced on his toes.
“It’s okay, he can—” Erin started, but Logan held up his hand to stop her.
His eyes found hers. In them, Erin saw compassion and understanding. It nearly broke her. “I know this is a big deal. Let me help.”
Erin felt her shoulders sag. This was the help she needed, the help she’d been praying for. Who was she to complain about what it looked like? She bit her lipas she contemplated what to do, but gave in and nodded. “Okay.”
“We’ll be fine,” Logan said, a smile on his face.
He seemed so sure, but Erin couldn’t help but wonder if Logan knew what he was getting himself into. Parker was a great kid, but he had more energy than a wind-up toy. He would keep going long after the average person had called it quits. She also worried what it might mean for Parker if he became too attached to Logan.
But Parker was already tossing the ball at Logan, before Erin had had a chance to agree. She sighed. Stopping this now would only throw Parker into a deeper tantrum. Erin took the ball from Logan and crouched down in front of her son. “It’s very nice for Mr. West to come play with you. Please be good for him while Mama is inside.” She looked back at Logan. “If you need anything, let me know.”
“Don’t worry. It’ll be fun.”
Erin had no doubt it would be fun for Parker. He hated playing alone. But she still wasn’t sure how long Logan would hang in there.
Thankful for her break, no matter how long, Erin rushed back inside to work. She turned on some classical music, hoping it would inspire her as she frosted the wedding cake. First things first, she needed to put a thicker layer of frosting on each of the tiers. This task was a little more difficult than Erin was used to. The bride requested a glassy-smooth finish that looked likefondant, but since she didn’t like the taste of the rolled frosting, she’d asked for buttercream.
After a few failed attempts at a perfectly smooth coat, Erin got the hang of it and finished each tier of the cake. She put wooden dowels on the bottom tier and held her breath as she stacked the next tier on top. She did this with each layer until the entire cake was assembled, eventually needing a step stool to put the final tier on top.
When she was finished, Erin took a step back to look at the cake. She wanted to make sure that it wasn’t crooked. Satisfied it was straight, it was time for Erin to work on the most difficult part of the job—the lace design the bride wanted piped onto the cake.
It was easy for Erin to find her rhythm with the frosting once she got past the first tier. She stayed focused on the design in front of her, even when Samantha came and sat in the kitchen with her. She’d almost forgotten her daughter’s presence until Samantha spoke up.
“It looks so pretty, Mama.”
Erin used the back of her hand to push a stray strand of hair that had fallen loose from the bun at the nape of her neck. “Thanks, sweetie.”
“I bet it tastes good too.”
Erin felt a corner of her mouth lift into a small grin. She was quite familiar with this exchange. One of her kids would come in the kitchen while she was baking and comment on how good something smelled, or howyummy it looked. Then they would quietly linger until Erin offered them something.
Predicting that the wedding cake would be no different from her normal baking days, Erin had made a dozen cupcakes. She’d even frosted them when she was doing the crumb coat the day before. She just hadn’t told anyone about them yet, waiting for this moment.
With the knowing smile still on her face, Erin asked, “Would you like some?”
