“Dear Lord, we thank you so much for this meal before us. Thank you for the hands that prepared it. Please bless it to our bodies. Amen.”
“Amen,” everyone echoed.
When it came to blessings, it was short and to the point, but Erin got hung up on the fact that he thanked God for the hands that made it—her hands. He was thanking God for her making the meal. Aunt Betty always made sure to tell Erin how delicious it was, and the kids usually thanked her for dinner through full mouths thanks to Aunt Betty’s nightly prompting. But this, this was a different kind of gratitude. It was the type of prayer Jake would pray when they all sat down as a family.
It felt so unfair that Logan was the one speaking the words instead of Jake. Her eyes filled with unshed tears. Not wanting anyone to see, she carefully tried to blink them away as Parker launched into a conversation about Rock Man.
“I didn’t want to wash my hands when I came in from playing, even though Mama told me to. But then Rock Man reminded me that if I didn’t wash my hands, that I might get sick.”
“Rock Man’s right,” Aunt Betty said.
“And I don’t want to get cancer like Daddy, so I washed them real good with soap. Twice.”
How many times had they gone over this? Erin couldn’t even count how many times she’d reassuredParker that he couldn’t get cancer from dirt, but Rock Man was always there fighting against her.
Erin was exhausted and still fighting against the overwhelming emotions from Logan’s prayer. She didn’t have the energy to do this again. She set her fork down, prepared to explain that dirt wasn’t what caused Jake to get sick.
Thankfully, Aunt Betty stepped in. “Sweetie, it’s very good to wash up before dinner, but your mama and I have told you over and over again. You’re not going to get sick like your father. Not from a little dirt outside.”
He took a sip from his plastic cup. “I just wanna be extra careful.”
“It’s good to be careful.” Aunt Betty mussed his hair. “Just don’t be too careful. Boys are supposed to be a little wild. Isn’t that right, Logan?”
Erin looked up at Logan, only to discover he was looking right at her, his face unreadable. Why was he looking at her? He shook his head, and his face cleared, like he was coming out of a daze. “Hmm?”
“Boys are supposed to be a little wild,” Aunt Betty repeated.
“Oh, um, sure.” Logan pushed the food around on his plate. “You’re supposed to climb trees, ride a bike, play tag. It’s part of being a kid. There’ll be plenty of time for playing it safe when you’re older.”
Erin shoved a bite in her mouth. It didn’t matterhow safe you played it; you couldn’t predict every obstacle life threw at you.
Parker’s eyes narrowed. “Are you sure?”
Logan nodded. “Yep. You can even ask Rock Man about it.”
Erin sagged in her chair. She was constantly fighting against Rock Man. Maybe that was her problem. Logan was coming in without any history, and he just went along with the whole imaginary friend.
As much as she resented the idea of Logan finding a way to get through to Parker, she would be thankful if this actually worked and could get her son to stop obsessing over being safe all the time. Erin wanted her children to be safe, but she didn’t want them to live in fear of getting cancer. She wanted them to be carefree like kids were supposed to be. She was the one who should carry the burdens of the family, not them.
“Make sure you let me know what he says,” Logan said, before taking a bite of salad.
“Okay,” Parker said.
Erin wondered what Rock Man would “say,” and decided she would follow up with Parker to see if Logan’s plan worked. She hoped it did for Parker’s sake, but it would be annoying, too, since it was Logan’s idea. The rest of the meal was mostly uneventful. Aunt Betty tried to get Samantha to talk about her day, getting one-word answers. Parker talked a little more about his favorite things. Logan and Erin were silentuntil it was time to clean up, focusing on their bites or what other people at the table were saying.
When everyone had finished eating, Erin stacked plates in her hands and carried them to the kitchen. As was the routine, Samantha and Parker went upstairs to read books before bed while she cleaned up, though Parker was too young to actually read and just looked at the pictures.
“Let me take care of the kitchen,” Logan said from behind Erin as she set the dishes on the counter. When she turned toward him, he lifted one of his shoulders. “I have a feeling you clean up every night. You could use a break.”
A break. Did he know how much that meant to her? Doing dishes was her least favorite part of cooking or baking, and not just because of the actual work. It was the stillness. She could hide from her thoughts if she kept herself busy enough with multiple pies or cooking something new and having to stick with a complicated recipe. But this? Washing dishes was mindless, and she still had a hard time keeping her thoughts from Jake.
Erin didn’t argue. She simply thanked him before going upstairs and reading to her children instead. She snuggled close to Samantha and Parker and read three stories to them before she finally made them go to sleep. When she kissed them each goodnight, she said a quick prayer to God, making sure He knew how grateful she was for a night off from the world’s worries.
