“What should I be preparing myself for, Michelle? Poor Rainier who never dated anyone and didn’t know that this was all somesickjoke?”
“Why would youthinkthat?”
“Whywouldn’tI?”
Tears threatened to come to the surface, but I’d had too much experience with hiding my feelings to let them. I did what I normally did in situations like this. I put a cold expression on my face and lashed out. Anything to avoid feeling vulnerable. Anything to avoid letting people see how affected I was when thingsgothard.
“I guess you’ve got it all figured out then. At least I won’t be forced to put up with your newbie kisses anymore. I’d hate to think how awkward everythingwouldbe.”
I wanted to take the words back as soon as they were out of my mouth. I knew I’d gone too far. Rainier wasn’t like other guys I’d dated in the past. The guys who were as quick to say something hurtful in an argument. The ones who only cared aboutthemselves.
No, Rainier was the kind of guy who opened doors, got up out of chairs, and saved his kisses for people he caredabout.
Rainier closed his eyes and shook his head. “I’m an idiot. People don’t change.” He started to walk out before he stopped and turned around. “Damn it, Michelle, I can’t just leave you here. Get in the car, and I’ll driveyouhome.”
I knew if I called Avery or my dad, they would get me, but a glance over at Katie and Gwen had me second-guessing whether or not I wanted to wait for someone to get me. They were both looking smug with their arms crossed over theirchests.
I didn’t trust myself to speak. The shell I had in place was dangerously close to breaking. Instead, I got up and followed Rainier tohiscar.
We rode in uncomfortable silence. Neither one of us willing to speak, not even when Rainier dropped me off at myhouse.
It was only when his car pulled away that I allowed myselftocry.
ChapterTwenty-Two
Rainier
Isatin my room playing the song that had been stuck in my head the entire summer. I'd been playing it allmorning.
I realized words had never come before now because I hadn’t experienced emotions powerful enough for it until my date with Michelle. So while they still weren’t solidified, I had the beginnings of lyrics for my song. I had been blindsided when Katie and Gwen cornered me on the way to the restroom. I hadn’t spoken more than a couple words to either of them before then, although I knew Sarah knew them pretty wellfromwork.
I shouldn’t have been surprised by what they said. I had heard plenty of rumors about Michelle over the years. Matt had gone to school with her, Jenny had gone to school with her, Sarah had her ownstories.
These were some of the closest people to me. I wish I would have listened to what they said instead of falling for Michelle and her sparkling eyes and redlipsand…
“Can you please stop playing that song?” Sarah stomped down the stairs into my room. “I’m going to have to go on anti-depressants just from hearing it over and overagain.”
I ignored her and kept playing. I didn’t want the I-told-you-so’s. I didn’t need her snarky comments or judgment. She had no clue how I felt after being played forafool.
“Rainier,” Sarah said, reaching out to grab my guitar, but I turned, so it was just out of reach. “Enough of this. Michelle is an awful person. It’s not some hugesecret.”
“I thought maybe she was letting me see a different sideofher.”
“Was it the constant teasing that made you fall for her? Maybe it was the way she only wanted you when you becamepopular?”
“It wasn’tlikethat.”
“Really? Because I distinctly remember you coming home from work andtellingme–”
“Sarah. Can you just drop it this one time?” Isnapped.
Sarah’s eyes widened before her entire face softened. “Holy crap. You have feelings for her, don’t you? Like, you actuallylikeher.”
I didn’t respond because I was afraid of what I would say. Yes, I liked Michelle, but I wasn’t sure it was enough. So I kept playingmysong.
My sister wasn’t easily dissuaded. “If you like her and she likes you, why are you down here playing your guitar instead of talkingtoher?”
I didn’t have an answer. I stopped playing and looked at her. “Do you think people can change? And I don’t mean the small stuff. Can a mean girl become someone decent? Is it possible Michelle is not the same girl who did all those horrible things? Can that kind of transformation happen in onesummer?”
