“I don’t hate TheFarmhouse.”
“Fine, I know you hateKatie.”
“I don’t hateKatie.”
Avery closed her eyes and cleared her throat. “Well, then I’m glad you didn’t have to overcome any major hurdles when you agreed to meetmehere.”
“They have greatburgers.”
“My favorite. Anyway, I wanted to meet up before the show to talk to you about Carter. Things are getting pretty serious between us. He’s even talking about living together and getting married. I wanted you to be the first to know.” Her face lit up as shesaidthis.
I felt like I was going tobesick.
“You’re nineteen. You’re still in school. Please tell me you aren’t thinkingaboutit.”
“Would it be so bad ifIwas?”
“Aves, you know how I feel about marriage. It’s a useless institution. Serious relationships, in general, are a horrible idea. Look at my parents, look at Julian and me. Those are just people in my immediate circle. Now take that and expand it. How many people stay with the people they date when they’re our age? And of those people who stay together and get married, how many get divorced? How many ruin their children’s lives with their drama?” I was breathing heavily by the time I finishedmyrant.
“Geez, Michelle. I’m not talking kids or anything. We haven’t even had sex yet. I’m just saying I like him. Maybe I love him. In a sea of man-boys, Carter is talking about the future. Call me crazy, but I think that’s pretty exciting. I want you to be excitedforme.”
“Fine, I’mexcited.”
“You are so full of it, Michelle. You are my best friend, but you can’t keep pushing me away like this. You push everyone away and blame it on your mom cheating on your dad. You blame it on your breakup with Julian. And let’s face it, you two were as perfect for each other as Mitch and I were. You just didn’t see it because you were the popular couple that was expected to betogether.”
“I loved Julian,” I said, angry Avery thought she could tell me my relationship with Julianwasn’treal.
“I’m not saying you didn’t. I’m saying you two weren’t meant for each other, and that’s okay. What isn’t okay, is dismissing every other relationship because of that. I’m your friend, and I can see the distance you’ve put between us in the last year or so. I’ve tried to be patient, but you’re going to have to give alittletoo.”
Avery wasn’t holding her punches. Not even a little. My gut reaction was to argue and tell her she was wrong. She said I’d been distancing myself, but I hung out with her all the time. It wasn’t possible to do both,wasit?
As I stopped to think about our friendship in recent months, I wasn’tsosure.
I hadn’t talked about my parents with her, even though I was still upset about it most days. I hadn’t told how I was scared that I was becoming the third wheel to her and Carter. Mostly because I didn’t want to admit it, but also because I was afraid she would laugh and tell me how silly I wasbeing.
But it wasn’t silly to be anxious about the future and the significant changes that were sure to come into each of our lives. I still didn’t know what I was doing with my life other than getting my degree. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go into business, even though that was the track I wascurrentlyon.
“Michelle?”
“Yeah?”
“You looked a little lost in thought over there,” Avery said, with a questioning gaze. “Areyouokay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, but I think you’reright.”
“What?”
“I’ve been putting a wedge between us. I didn’t even realize it until you said something. I might need some help remembering that.” Avery’s mouth popped open and was almost as wide as her eyes. “Oh, come on. It’s not like I’ve never admitted I was wrongbefore.”
“I don’t think I can ever remember this happening.” She quickly lifted her phone and took a picture. “I need to make sure I document this. It may never happenagain.”
The waitress still hadn’t come over, so the table was pretty bare. I grabbed the laminated menu that was off to the side and threw it at her. Avery lifted her hands to cover her face, but the menu didn’t make it that far. It made it about halfway across the table before flopping to the side and falling to thefloor.
Just in time for an older woman to walk up and pick it up. She handed it to me with an impatient grin before greeting us. “Are you ready to place yourorders?”
We both got burgers and spent the time at the diner talking about the things we should have been talking about the last few months. It felt good to open up to Avery again. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d been holding back because of the difficulties I had inmylife.
I didn't want our conversation to end, but as our bellies got fuller, the hour got later. Soon it was time to leave for the show at Wild Bill's, and I found I was looking forward to it more than I thought Iwould.
