Work was my one place where I felt like I could have some peace. That is, when my song wasn’t haunting me. The tune had become more solid in my mind, although I still didn’t have any lyrics. Still sad, still nothing to inspire the words that would do itjustice.
Tap,tap,tap.
“Rainier, you okay?” Jenny asked, breaking myconcentration.
“What? Oh…yes. Justtired.”
“You look a mess. Do you want me to stay and you can leave when Michellegetshere?”
I laughed. “I must look like a corpse for you tooffer.”
“She’s actually notthatbad.”
“Okay, now I’m wondering if I’m hallucinating. Or I died from exhaustion, and I’m in some strange kind of purgatory, because I swear it sounded like you just said Michelle wasn’tsobad.”
Jenny didn’t respond. Instead, she bit her lip and looked at the wall. She refused to make eyecontact.
“Jenny. The girl tortured you in high school. At least that’s what you’ve always said. Please tell me she didn’t secretly lobotomize you during your shifttogether.”
She shrugged. “She was a hard worker and shelved an entire cart of books before learning theregister.”
“You didn’t lobotomizeher, did you?” I cried, throwing my hands up in the air while Jenny giggled at thetheatrics.
“I swear I didn’t cut into her brain. She just did what I askedherto.”
“That’s impossible. She’simpossible.”
“Who’s impossible?” a voice asked from behind me. Jenny’s laughter stopped immediately as I turned around to see Michelle standing behind me. Her skin wasn’t red anymore, and her hair was pulled back in a ponytail that made her look like she was still in high school. She looked innocent if such a thing waspossible.
When neither Jenny or I responded to her question, Michelle’s eyebrows scrunched together. “Okay. I’m just going to put my stuff away, and then I’ll gettowork.”
She walked to the back of the store to the employee area. It was a small room where we received deliveries and stored books until we could get them out to the shelves. Apparently, she got the memo that she should put her bag back there instead of leaving it out here on thecounter.
“Look at the little worker bee,” Jenny said once Michelle was out ofearshot.
“This proves nothing,” I answered, as she signed hertimecard.
“Maybe not. Just try not to kill eachother,okay?”
“I’ll do my best,” I said, assheleft.
When Michelle walked back out to the front, I got out of my chair and stood several feet away from it. I wanted her to know I was okay with our prior arrangement. I would work while she stared at gossip magazines and whatever was on her phone for several hours on end. I held my breath waiting for her reaction, not sure why Icared.
Jenny was convinced Michelle had become a new person with one decent shifttogether.
I touched my fingers against my thigh pretending to look down at a book while I watched her out of the corner of my eye. I watched as she got closer, and I watched as she sat down in the seat and grabbed one of the same magazines she had read the last time we workedtogether.
I knew she hadn’t changed. Nobody did. Not thatquickly.
“So…” she mused, “it’s hot outside today. Don’t youthink?”
She wanted to talk about the weather? “I guess so. I haven’t really beenoutside.”
“The plants look like they’re going to die,” she said, still flipping pages and keeping her eyes trained on themagazine.
“Okay?”
She sighed. “Too bad it isn’trainierout.”
