“Totally. But I wouldn’t want to risk my masculine pride.” I wasn’t actually cold. But the idea of cozying up with Katie in my blanket when she wasn’t crying was so damnappealing.
“I’d hate to wound your delicate sensibilities.” She smiled at me before laying down on the trampoline and lifting the blanket to give me space to come over. I didn’thesitate.
We sat there in silence for several minutes looking up at the stars. I could feel her shivering against me, but she didn’t complain about the cold. I fought against the urge to wrap my armsaroundher.
“The stars are so much better here. Did you know that?” Katie’s voice broke through the silence. “Where I lived in Florida, there were so many buildings and so much light. It really dulledthesky.”
“It made that big of adifference?”
“Oh yeah. There are so many more stars here.” Her voice took on a dreamy tone as she stared in awe at thenightsky.
I had never left River Valley; this was the only night sky I knew. In a small town that didn’t have much to offer, Katie found beauty in the stars. I never even imagined it might be something people wouldcovet.
I looked up at the night sky, trying to see it through her eyes. The moon was full and shone bright through the darkness. The light coming off of it was almost painful to look at. Stars competed with their own light, not nearly as bright, but the pattern they produced across the sky wasbeautiful.
I couldn’t remember the last time I really stopped to look up, but it was freaking amazing. Maybe it was the fact Katie was curled up next to me; I could feel her body relaxing with every minute that passed. Maybe it was the fact I didn’t have to pretend out here. I was happy and felt a peace I hadn’t felt in months. Like I could actually breatheagain.
“I’d love to see the milky way again,” Katie interrupted mythoughts.
I turned my head toward her. She was still looking up in wonder. “Let me guess, that’s something else you can’t see inFlorida?”
“Not in Central Florida. Too much light pollution, Ithink.”
“I could take you to go see it.” I held my breath waiting for herresponse.
“Yeah?”
“Sure, why not?” I said, as if it were no big deal, but inside I felt nervous. “When do you wanttogo?”
“Right now?” she answered, her breath barely awhisper.
I looked back up at the moon. It was best to wait until it was a barely a crescent if you wanted to see the galaxy. “Katie, the moon’s too bright tonight. The milky way isn’t goinganywhere.”
“You’re probably right.” She sighed before asking. “Hey,Julian?”
“Yeah?”
“Why aren’t you going tocollege?”
“A bunch of reasons, but mostly to take care of my mom.” I answeredhonestly.
“Do you hate it? Seeing everyone gone and knowing you’re still working at thediner?”
If it had been anyone else asking, even Gwen, I would have been pretty pissed. Because, yeah, Ididhate watching everyone else start their lives without me. I hated seeing guys like Tyler and his buddies going to college when I knew I was just as deserving to bethere.
I had a feeling Katie might be the only other person who understood what it was like to be dealt a bad hand, so I wasn’t mad at her overly direct question. “I won’t lie. It sucks. I wanted to be a doctor. But things came up and I’m trying to make the best of it. Staying angry won’t changeanything.”
“Iguess.”
“What about you? Were you planning on going to go to college? Do you hate beingouthere?”
She surprised me by leaning in closer to me and putting her head on my chest. This time, I did wrap my arm around her shoulders making it more comfortable for the bothofus.
“Yeah, I wanted to go. But then my mom died and it changed everything. I still don’t know what I’m doing here. I don’t know what’s going on between me and my dad. But no, I don’t hate it. I have Gwen and–” Her voice stopped short like she didn’t mean to saysomuch.
“And?” I asked knowing what she wanted to say, needing tohearit.
“You.” She sighed. “Or, at least I thinkIdo.”
