“Right,” she replied in a small voice and started to move toward the edge of the trampoline togetoff.
“Katie, stop,” I said and her body stilled. “Don’t leave. Just put this over you, okay? It’s cold out here and you’re barely wearing anything.” She looked down at herself as if she hadn’t even realized she was practicallynaked.
“I guess not.” She replied, her voicestillsoft.
“Here.” I handed her the blanket and watched as she wrapped herself up like a caterpillar in a cocoon. She laid back and stared up at the sky. I hopped up and laid down next to her. Putting my hands beneath my head, I stared up into sky with her. “What are you doing here? It’s the middle of thenight.”
“I needed to think,” she said, as if that explainedeverything.
“Okay. But why are you doing it out here inthedark?”
“I know this is going to sound crazy, but I feel safe here. It’s likebeinghome.”
“A home you haven’t been to inyears?”
“Yeah.” She didn’t explain anyfurther.
We sat in companionable silence for a while. I tried to decipher what she meant. How could this place feel like home to her? I lived here. I had lived here my entire life, and yet it was feeling less and less like home every day. I was suffocating when I was in the house, and I didn’t feel welcome in town for the most part. I was itching to get out of here, and yet Katie thought my house felt like home. I wanted to know what she wasthinking.
“Julian?” She spoke before I had the chance toaskher.
“Yeah?”
“Do you remember jumping out here allthetime?”
“Yeah.”
“We were bestfriends.”
“Wewere.”
She rolled over to her side with her hand propped up, and rested her head on it. I kept my head against the trampoline, but turned my head to see her better. It was dark, but not enough to mask the unmistakable shine in her eyes. She was about to cry. “Do you ever…” she stopped speaking and took a shaky breath before trying again. “Do you ever wish you could go back? Do you ever wish things were still as simple as they were when we wereyounger?”
It was like she could read my mind. “All the freaking time.” I rolled to see her better and propped my own head in my hand, mirroring her pose before remembering the fresh cut on my cheek. I cussed under my breath, but the silence of the night broadcast itclearly.
“Julian, are you okay? What happened?” She sat up and leaned closer to me. Her eyes widened as she saw my face better. “Holy crap, Julian.Yourface!”
“It’sfine.”
“What happened?” she askedagain.
“It’s fine,” I said with more force than I intended and rolled onto my back again, making an effort to turn my facefromher.
I listened as she took a few quick breaths. The kind you take before you say something. But each time she just slowly let her breath out and never said what was on her mind. We went back to our silence, but it felt uncomfortable now. Typically, I could sit in silence with no problem. Even awkward ones like this, but something had me on edge. “I didn’t see you at worktonight.”
“I’m taking some time off.” I glanced over to see she was pressing her lips together and her brows weredrawn.
“Okay.” I wanted to know why, if everything was ok with her. But how could I ask when I had been so quick to closemyselfoff?
“Julian?”
“Yeah?”
“Why did Tyler say those awful things about you? And why did the other guyslethim?”
“I don’t know,Katie.”
“Gwen says she knows something happened and that you’re not this guy they were saying you were but, I just don’t understand.” She was talking to Gwen about me? I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. “And Julian, this is going to sound so crazy. Like, I can’t even believe I’m saying it. But I miss you. I think I need you to be my friend rightnow.And...”
