Wizard kills the bike and as soon as I take my helmet off, the palpable waves of hostility hit me. I’m mostly shielded by Wizard’s broad back, so that means it hits him first. The way his parents straighten and his mom fists her hands on her hips and his dad glares at us is insane. It fans the coals of fury that have lain in my gut since the first time I ever went to Wizard’s house and saw how his parents treated him.
James is standingrighttherein the driveway. He’s the one who borrowed money from loan sharks, nearly got his legs broken or me killed, the one who had to be bailed out, whofled—and they’re justfinewith that?
James went to Satan’s Angels’ clubhouse and made a racket, shouting out demands, puffing and strutting like a fucking peacock. I wasn’t there, but I know James. I can see him doing it. Why do Wizard’s parents think that was a smart thing to do? How could they have allowed James to lose his mind like that? Why are they treating him like it’s any other day, all puffed up and swollen with their usual pride in him?
If this is for real, that’s insane. And it does appear to be for real.
Wizard hangs his helmet on the handlebars and holds the bike steady while I get off. I don’t have secondthoughts about being here. If anything, I feel the same old wish for things to bedifferent.
Wizard takes my helmet when I offer it. I intentionally brush my hand against his. I don’t say anything, but I search his face, trying to let him know that I’m okay whatever happens, because I have him. I want him to know that I’m here for him. I know that he’ll protect me, whatever the cost, but I want to be here for him too. He once told me he’d do anything to safeguard my peace, but I want that for him too.
James ambles down the driveway. He might still have a good body, thanks to religiously working out, but his bloodshot eyes and the bags underneath of them tell a different story than his casual black shorts and gray striped polo. He’s not as laid back as he pretends to be. This isn’t just any other Saturday, where he’s a good son who heads to his parents’ house and helps them with yardwork and a wash and wax for their classic truck.
James works his jaw. He crosses his arms to make himself appear larger than he is. He was once twice Wizard’s size, but not anymore. Wizard is a little bit taller, and quite a bit broader. If James is the ex-athlete, Wizard could be in his prime.
The petty parts of me hope that the irony of that isn’t lost on James.
It’s not, because James’ lips turn up in a nasty sneer. He looks me over in my jeans and leather jacket, before his eyes flick back to Wizard. “What happened? You got tired of collecting participation ribbons? She’s no prize. I’m sure you’ll figure that out as soon as you get tired of dining on sloppy seconds.”
Wizard’s hands flex at his sides. He makes a fist with his right but breathes out and lets it relax. He’s not here to be goaded.
James used to say that he got all the good genetics, while Wizard got a few errant braincells. Deep down, I think that James always was jealous of his younger brother. Wizard was kinder, ridiculously smart, great with tech, and after high school, he joined the military, then got into a biker club. Whereas James fizzled out in college, playing a year of football, and then… not much of anything else. Wizard might never have been a jock, but he was the one who hung out with their grandpa. Then there was our close friendship. James took stabs at it because he was intensely jealous. I did everything to keep the peace, acting as a buffer between brothers, because there was a time when I wanted the best for both of them. There used to be a little bit of light in James. I wanted to nurture that, but he chose to smother it.
“She’s not a prize.” Wizard says. He stuffs his hands into his pockets. He’s so tense that I know he’s holding him back. I can read his posture like words on a page. If James moves another muscle, Wizard is going to spring on him. “She’s a human being. Not a trophy. Aperson.”
A nasty, sickening grin blooms across James’ face. “I only ever wanted her so you couldn’t have her. You were so stupidly in love with her. The only person who couldn’t see it washer. All these years, all it took was a few words of encouragement once in a while, and she stayed.” His eyes flick to my face and my stomach tumbles. “It got boring, how pathetic you were, Esme.”
I fight back tears, not because I’m hurt, but because I’m angry. I’m so pissed that I’m vibrating. My vision fracturesand my breathing goes off. I want to stay in control, not let James provoke me and drag me down to his level.
“You were given another person’s trust, their vulnerability, their heart,” Wizard hisses, all steel and gravel and absolutely having none of his brother’s bullshit. “You never saw that and you never cared. There’s somethingwrongwith you, James. There’s something wrong with this whole family.” His hand arcs through the air, slicing down like he’s going to cut them all off. “You need to talk to someone. Get your head on straight. Figure out why you don’t have any empathy or compassion. It’s scary.” He motions to his parents. “And your blindness in refusing to see it and encouraging him all these years is just as bad.”
“You’re just jealous because you’ve always been the loser in this family. The outsider who lost the genetic lottery.” That’s so classic James. He’s used that line so many times.
Wizard shakes his head. “I don’t think so. But if I’m an outsider, I’m glad.” He pauses, then gets down to why we’re here at all. “You owe my club over two million dollars. How do you plan on repaying it?”
“I don’t.”
“That’s not an option.”
“I’ll declare bankruptcy and no one can do a thing.” James puts on a bunch of false bravado, but his eye twitches. He’s starting to look like a windup toy strung too tight.
“That’s not how this works. It wasn’t on the books. This was a personal favor, because you’re my brother.”
“You did it to save Esme. I knew you would. Predictable, as ever, little bro. Thanks, though.” James dustsimaginary dirt off his palms, symbolically washing his hands of all of this. Does he really think it’sthateasy? That he just played everyone and no one is going to care? “It meant a lot that all I had to do was disappear for a week and the whole thing would take care of itself. Having a nerd in the family finally paid off.”
Wizard takes one menacing step forward. Before he even speaks, I know there’s going to be ice laced all over his words. “Do I look like a nerd to you? Do the rest of the guys at the club look like they’re playing around?”
James rolls his eyes. “Everyone knows that no one in your club would harm anyone. That’s the whole thing about Satan’s Angels, isn’t it? They’re actually a bunch of Boy Scouts who care about their community and are trying to get on the straight and narrow. It’s pathetic.”
“That hasn’t always been how it’s gone down, and it might not always be. I would advise you to get a plan together to pay that money back.” Wizard’s not messing around, but James clearly refuses to see the threat, or sense. “That’s the only contact I’d like to have with this family for a good while.” Wizard’s eyes scrape over his parents. For once, his mom looks at a loss. His dad is just as uncertain. They seem to have aged a decade in five minutes, glancing frantically between their two sons. “Our lives have basically rubbed up against each other’s because I live here, but other than that, I don’t think that we have any reason to pretend to be a family. I’d appreciate it if you would think about how you talk about Esme and about me in the future.”
“You’d appreciate it? Do you even hear yourself?” James scoffs. “You’re a pathetic little bitch, baby bro. You always have been. I almost died of embarrassment living here, just being related to you and having everyone know it.”
Wizard motions to James’ pocket, where the outline of his phone is clearly visible. “I’m gonna give you the club accountant’s phone number. You can call it to arrange repayment. If Raiden doesn’t hear from you within a few weeks, you’ll get a letter from the club’s lawyer.”
“You want to talk repayment terms? This is the only payment I’m going to make.”
James charges like a bull, but Wizard knows his brother and he saw it coming. I saw it too. I jump back so Wizard doesn’t have to worry about me.
