“What if he says no?”
“He might say no, and it might hurt your feelings,” Grace conceded. “But just imagine if he says yes?”
I thought about Grace and Phoebe’s words for the rest of the day. It was such a simple thing, texting someone. But every time I thought about it, I felt nauseous. I couldn’t help it. My mind would wander back to high school…
Nope. Nope, nope, nope. I would not think about that.
That night, just before bed, I decided fuck it.
Tessa: Hey. Got my redemption result back. 79%.
I stared at my phone, waiting for a response. One minute passed. Then another.
Okay this was the worst idea ever. I had just Googled ‘can you un-send text messages’ when my phone buzzed.
Ryan: You killed it. Good job.
The text message might’ve sounded dry, but I heard his voice as I read it. I imagined him giving me one of those small barely-there smiles.
Tessa: It’s all because of you. Thank you for tutoring me.
His reply came instantly.
Ryan: It’s nothing. You’re the one who put in the work.
Tessa: Still, you helped me a lot.
I hesitated, then sent a second message.
Tessa: In more ways than one.
Ryan: Really, it’s nothing.
Did he mean that in a dismissive way? Or in a ‘no worries’ way?
Ryan: I had fun helping you.
Warm relief flooded my body.
Ryan: I’m really proud of you Tessa.
I exhaled. How could a single sentence make me feel so flustered?
Tessa: Thank you. I’m sorry I made things so weird last time we saw each other.
He took a moment to respond. I watched the dots on my screen, indicating he was typing.
Ryan: You didn’t. It was my bad. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.
Tessa: You didn’t make me uncomfortable. It’s kind of hard to explain. It’d be easier in person.
He didn’t reply, but I saw he’d read the message.
Tessa: Would you like to catch up? I want to thank you for all your help.
Ryan: The Cozy Bean? For old time’s sake?
My initial plan had been to thank him with a meal, but a coffee shop was lower stakes.
