“Okay.” He set the remote down on the coffee table and turned to me.
I shivered, in spite of myself. It felt…scary…to have this man’s entire attention on me.
“Have you thought about how you want this to go?” he asked.
“I thought you were supposed to be the expert.”
“Alright. I’ll tell you my ideas, but you can interrupt me at any time. If you want something else, we’ll do something else. And if you want to stop, we can stop. I won’t be upset. I won’t be annoyed. This is all about you, okay?” His eyes were steady on mine.
I nodded.
“Good. You said you’ve tried to finger yourself, right?”
I felt myself turn red. We were diving right in.
“Yeah,” I replied. “I heard that it felt good, but when I did it, it just hurt. Some of my friends talk about dildos, but I’ve never tried one. If my finger hurt, something as big as a dildo would beexcruciating. I’ve never had anything inside of me.” I looked at my lap. “Well, except for tampons.”
This was so embarrassing. But when Ryan replied, he sounded completely normal. “When you tried to finger yourself, were you turned on?”
“Um. Yes.” I took a deep breath.Stop feeling shy,Tessa. Talking about this is important. He needs to understand you.“I was watching porn at the time. In the video, the man was…pounding the woman. And she looked like she was losing her mind. Like it felt so good. I wanted to see what it would feel like to have something inside me. I was wet, but…it was still hard to push my finger inside myself.” I swallowed. “I think I’m just not used to it.”
Ryan nodded. It might have been a trick of the light, but his eyes looked darker than usual. He stood up, walked over the windows, and started drawing the blinds.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“You don’t want my neighbors looking in and seeing what we’re doing, do you?”
“So we’re going to do it now? Are we going to your bedroom?”
“We’re going to stay on the sofa.”
My brows came together. “Huh?”
“This is what we’re going to do, Tessa.” He walked over to me, looking like a predator stalking prey. “You’re going to sit on my lap. I’m going to touch you until you’re so turned on, you’re soaked and begging for it. Then andonlythen will we move on to the next step.”
I stared. This was not what I expected. I thought we’d just get on his bed, I’d take my clothes off, and he’d stick his dick in me. Not all this…other stuff.
I wasn’t disappointed though.
He settled himself on the couch, his legs spread out, and raised a brow at me.
“What?” I asked.
“Get on my lap.”
“I’m heavier than I look —”
Ryan reached over, picked me up, and settled me on his lap so fast, I didn’t have a chance to react. My back was flat against his chest. He was solid and warm.
“Don’t you need me to take my clothes off?” I asked.
“You’re wearing a skirt.” His breath tickled the nape of my neck. “I think I can manage.”
He slid a hand up my skirt, fingertips skimming the inside of my thigh. My heart was still pounding, but my shoulders relaxed. I’d been terrified to let someone see my naked body, and this way, I didn’t have to.
Moreover, this way, I couldn’t see Ryan’s face. That meant I couldn’t overthink every micro expression that passed his face.
I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the sensations. He dragged his fingers slowly up my leg. Then he touched the fabric of my panties. I sucked in a deep breath, but his touch was light, almost not there at all. Through the underwear, his fingertips grazed my clit, then lower, over my slit. I don’t know how long we were there, him touching me like that. But eventually, he leaned forward to whisper in my ear. “Can I take them off?”
