Ash:
Hey, are you here? Come backstage.
Then fifteen minutes later…
Ash:
Hey, I can see you! Thanks for coming. Come to the back!!
Then, two minutes ago, a third one came in.
Ash:
If I don't get to see you before the show, please stay and see me after.
It was an hour ago when the first text came in, and I felt terrible that I was just seeing them.
I typed back immediately, but I figured it was too late. I apologized for not seeing the texts sooner and told him good luck with the show.
He did not need it.
Ash was an artist, and performing music was his medium. The lyrics and vocals were mesmerizing. He was vulnerable and emboldened in equal measures, and as an audience member, you felt something when watching him. I wasn't alone in that. The audience was collectively wrapped around his finger. He sang about love and loss and all sorts of other things.
If my mother were here, she would say that Ash could sing the names in a phone book and it would sound good. He worked the microphone, and he worked the stage, and hundreds of women clamored for him and cheered when each song ended. I had heard them all before. I had listened to every album he had available, and I knew them all.
His band members were talented, too. The whole experience was remarkable. I had seen him perform folk songs, but this was different with the lights and the bass. The vocals were different, too. The show was captivating, and the four of us sitting at the table hardly talked to each other at all.
Ash announced that they had a couple more songs for us, and the crowd made noises of disapproval like they didn't want it to be over. The next song he sang was one I didn't recognize. It was a ballad, and the lyrics of the chorus said something about pulling him like gravity and how this woman had her own little moon. I was sensitive to the word moon because of Luna's name, and the first time he sang it, I tuned in to the lyrics and started really listening. It was vague and poetic, but there was a woman in the song, and I could easily put myself in her place.
I gazed at him and dreamed that the lyrics were about me and the song was for me. It was easy to do with the line about the little moon. Maybe every woman could imagine herself in the lyrics of his songs. But I had a little moon of my own, so I was especially hot and bothered as he sang this one. His voice was raspy and sweet, and my chest ached with the feeling of wishing it was written for me.
The crowd applauded when he finished, and I was glad no one was looking at me because my eyes were watering. There was no reason for me to cry—I was simply touched by the music, and it was impossible to hold back the tears. I yelled out, a call of approval as I cheered. It was something I had done several times already during their set, so my sister didn’t think twice about it. Cheering just gave me an excuse to do something besides cry.
I dug in my purse for gum after that, and Ash started talking.
"Thank you so much," he said into the mic.
I still dug in my purse.
"That one was brand new. I can't believe some of you were singing it with me. You guys are amazing."
"We love you!" someone yelled in the crowd.
Of course, it was a woman.
"I love you, too," Ash said, smiling and causing the crowd to cheer again.
Goodness. I was overheating. I needed to fan my face. I casually tugged on my shirt a few times, looking around, smiling, and hoping my sister didn't notice.
The band played another song, and then Ash thanked everyone for coming out. They went backstage, but the crowd cheered so loudly that they played an encore.
It was past midnight when they finished, and I was completely spent, but I hardly felt it. The thrill and adrenaline from being there and watching the show were still present within me.
"Ash had said something about sticking around to talk to him, but I know he'll be busy, so I might just go ahead and leave."
I was nearly yelling at my sister, even though the music had stopped. There was still some music coming over the speakers, and there was a lot of noise around us, but mostly I spoke loudly because my ears were ringing.
"We can all go back there if you want," Collin said, looking confident as he glanced toward the stage. "Allie's working back there tonight. She can get us back there if you want to see your friend."
