‘Bailey, hold on a damn second.’ I shake my head.
‘No.’ She screams the word through the door that’s wide open to the corridor, not caring who hears. ‘I don’t want to do this. You’re right. This has practically run its course anyway, so who the hell cares?’
‘You care,’ is all I can say. ‘I care. I don’t want to end it like this.’
‘What difference does it make?’
I’m stumped. I guess she’s right. If this was going to end, why does it matter how?
‘We are more than this.’
For a second, she sags against the door. ‘What does that mean?’
Her eyes don’t quite meet mine, but I feel as though I’ve been given the tiniest hint of a second chance. Only I don’t know how to make the most of it.
‘We’ve had fun together, Bailey. I don’t want us to fuck that all up, to ruin the memories, by finishing on a fight.’
She jerks her gaze to the wall directly opposite her, stares at it long and hard, then slowly turns back to face me.
‘I want you to leave, Beau. And I know you’re too much of a gentleman to ignore that.’
But the way she saysgentlemanis so laced with sarcasm, I want to stay to defend myself some more, to get her to tell me what she’s so messed up about.
The thing is, though, she’s right. I was raised to respect women, to listen to them too, and she’s made it perfectly clear that she doesn’t want to do this right now.
‘Fine.’ I move toward the door, stopping right in front of her, breathing her in and tasting her sweetness. Her eyes land on my shoulder. ‘But this isn’t finished. I want to talk tomorrow.’
She opens her mouth, closes it. ‘Goodnight, Beau.’
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Bailey
Three years ago, when my world came crashing down, I ran away. I packed up my life, my whole life, and got as far from Kirk and heartbreak as I possibly could. But the thing about heartbreak is that it follows you. You can’t ever really outrun it.
Houston offered a change of scenery, a fresh start, but Kirk was there too. Inside of me. The knowledge of what I’d done, of how stupid I’d been, how easily I’d been conned into trusting him, followed me like a ghoulish shadow. Time was the only thing that helped.
Slowly, day by day, that shadow spread less into my world, leaving only a general sense of wariness, that I shouldn’t trust too easily again.
I know it will be the same with Beau. It hurts like hell right now. It hurts like my heart has been ripped from my body and thrown against the wall of the hotel, and that’s not even being dramatic.I literally feel as though there’s a hole in my chest where it burst from me. That somewhere down there, Beau with his sprained wrist will be in his own room, and my heart is with him, thumping like mad, begging him to come back and understand.
To understand how much it hurt me to see him with Ash. How much it hurt to realise that despite everything we promised each other, I’ve fallen in love with him. To love a man who characterises your relationship as ‘sleeping together’, who will never love you back. A man who was able to stick to his end of the bargain when I gave up any hope of that almost from the start. Who will never give up on his dream, and his life on the ranch, to chase you to Washington. An impossible man.
I was wrong about my heart. It’s not out of my body, it’s inside me, and it’s twisting mercilessly now.
‘Fuck.’ I drop my head into my hands and sob.This isn’t over.But it is over. It has to be.
I stare around the room, at my possessions across all the surfaces, and begin stuffing them methodically back into my suitcase. For the second time in my life, I’m running away, and I know the decision is as right now as it was then. Space and time are the only things that will help me get over this. Even as I think that, I don’t know if it’s true; I don’t know if I’ll ever get over him. True love doesn’t work that way, and unfortunately what I feel is the truest of loves. Real, everlasting, life-changing love. Unrequited, but still real.
Beau
I was right. Not only did I win the tournament in Phoenix, but the press went wild for me competing after that fall. Thesponsors too. They love a tough guy. I should be riding high, on cloud fucking nine, but two days later, back home for a couple of nights before heading to Vegas for the next event, all I can think about is Bailey.
Not just Bailey, but the fight we had.
The way it ended with us.
The way she stared at me like I was some kind of horrible villain she couldn’t wait to get rid of. The way she ran away from me.
