‘It’s just a sprained wrist.’ I laugh it off, aware that to my family it’s definitely not just that. Not after what they’ve seen. Not to them, not to Ash, and definitely not to Bailey either. Anxiety stretches beneath my skin. Where the hell is she?
I pull my phone from my back pocket casually, as if I’m checking the time, and frown. My lock screen is full of message notifications from people checking on me after the fall, but there’s nothing from her.
Impatience whips through me.
‘Let’s talk about it over dinner,’ Cole suggests.
‘There’s nothing to talk about,’ I respond firmly. ‘And I’m not hungry.’ I hear my tone, know that I’ve crossed over into rudeness and let out a heavy sigh. I force a smile. ‘I’m gonna head back to the hotel.’
‘Breakfast tomorrow,’ Beth says with a nod, cutting off the argument that’s brewing between Cole and me. She puts her hand in the curve of his arm, glances up at him and smiles sweetly. ‘I’m pretty tired myself,’ she says, to seal the deal.
Cole’s whole demeanour changes, shifting into a big protective bear for his wife now, not me. And thank god for that. The last thing I need is Cole acting as though I don’t know how to look after myself.
‘Thank you all for coming,’ I say belatedly, striding across the room and hoisting my bag over my shoulder. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’
I can barely look in Ash’s direction as I stalk away from them. A dark cloud is forming on the edges of my mind and I have no idea why, or what it means, only it feels as though it’s consuming me whole.
Bailey
Nothing helps. Not a long soak in the tub, not a glass of wine, not the stupid, funny podcast I listen to when I’m exercising. I feel like my whole body has been stretched too far, like I can hardly think straight—or, more accurately, all I can think of is Beau.
I close my eyes against the wave of pain that rushes over me when I remember the other woman’s face. Ash. The way her expression contorted with love.
Love that I understand, and feel.
Love that I could never compete with.
What have Beau and I been doing?
Sleeping together.
That’s it.
Three weeks of blissful, mind-blowing sex. Everything else was an illusion. We’ve bared our souls because that was our deal. In exchange for me mining his consciousness for this article, he made me agree he could mine me right back. That’s not love, not for him. For Beau, I’m pretty sure he’s standing by the terms of our deal.
He’s got no issue with us ending this on the day we agreed. He’s got no issue with letting me go.
Whereas Ash is one of his best friends. A part of his family. She grew up across the road from their ranch; she’s part of his world—part of him—in a way I’ll never be.
A tear falls from my eye; I dash at it quickly. I feel like my heart has been ripped clear from my body. The sooner I get out of Arizona, the better. The sooner I get away from Beau, the sooner I can start trying to process this mess.
But deep down I know I’ll never be the same again.
Beau
I stand outside her room so long I almost think she’s not gonna answer. Or maybe even that she’s not there? I pull out my phone once more, start to navigate to her number, then hear a scuffle just behind the door, and the slow turning of the handle.
Forget falling off a bull. Seeing Bailey is like a hard punch to the ribs. She’s showered and scrubbed her face of make-up, her hair is scraped back into a loose bun, and she’s wearing stretchy pants with an oversized T-shirt. This Bailey, all casual and sweet, is my absolute favourite.
Our eyes meet and the air between us pulses with tension. ‘Bailey.’ I dig my good hand into my hip pocket. Her eyes drop to the other wrist, and the strapping that’s visible there. Her jaw clenches as she moves one of her hands to the wall, almost like she needs the support.
‘You should go to bed, Beau.’
‘I was planning on it,’ I say, holding my ground. ‘You keeping me out here for any reason?’
She hesitates. ‘I— meant your own bed.’
Her eyes don’t quite meet mine. Ever since I came to and realised Ash was leaning over me, then walking me out of the arena, I’ve had this heaviness on my chest. Nothing to do with my physical injuries, but it might as well have been. The sensation’s the same, like I’ve been badly winded. It presses down on me now.
