They were mercifully interrupted by another customer coming into the dining room and asking for some milk. Kivi swiftly got up and exited the room, and Saskia was able to breathe a sigh of relief. She placed her knife and fork together neatly. There was no way she would be able to manage another bite now.Cheese… cheese has so many calories – and pasta! Pasta’s full of carbs, and carbs-
“Oh, I hope I haven’t put you off,” Kivi said, re-entering the dining room. “I didn’t mean to interrogate you. I just wanted opinions on the new dish, and you’re the person I felt most comfortable asking, so-”
“Really? Sounds a whole lot like youdidintend to interrogate me then,” Saskia said, standing up and glaring at Kivi. The blonde took a step back, seemingly thrown by the intensity of Saskia sudden vitriol.It’s not her fault,the rational part of Saskia’s brain said, but the insecure part of her brain took over.
“Only for your opinion. Not to make you feel uncomfortable,” Kivi said, but Saskia was already on the move. She couldn’t bear to see the hurt in Kivi’s eyes that was already so apparent in her voice.
“Just leave me alone,” she said on her way out, nearly taking out another customer in the doorway. She stormed up the stairs, conscious that her heavy footfall might be disturbing other people but too angry to care. Her bedroom door slammed behind her, and the loud sound broke the dam. She gave a sudden sob, then clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle the sound. She hadn’t cried about food inso long,but now all the old feelings were flooding back. The images of bloat, of numbers on the scales, were crowding her brain. And of course the itch was there. The compulsion. The call that she had always answered.
The bathroom was right there. It would feel so natural to-
“No,”she growled out loud – a guttural sound that didn’t sound like it could have come from her usually measured, controlled voice box. “No,” she whispered.
“We arenotdoing this again.”
Chapter Eighteen
Kivi
“What’s gotten your goat?” Eva asked when Kivi finally lost her shit and wrestled the vacuum cleaner into submission the next morning.
“That bloody thing.” Kivi glared at the offending red machine. It stared back at her innocently with its painted-on eyes. “I don’t knowwhyMum swears by this brand. He’s evil. Deliberately gets himself stuck around corners, or deliberately gets his trunk tangled, and then-”
“Trunk?”Eva barked a laugh. “He’s not an elephant! And he doesn’t have it in for you, despite what you might think. He does it with me too.”
“The little prat,” Kivi grumbled, and gave the machine a final doleful kick. “Now come on. Work with me, machine.”
But Eva put her foot over the switch and fixed her with a stern look.
“What?” Kivi snapped. She was aware she sounded like a sullen teenager, but Eva was the only person she could safely be that way around these days, so…
“Yes,what?” Eva said. “You’ve been walking around with a face like thunder all morning. It’s a miracle you didn’t snap Mrs. Moysey’s ear off when she inquired about the use-by date on the yoghurt this morning. You’re not normally like this. What’s the problem?”
Kivi huffed, then decided to behave like an adult.
“I think I did something to upset Miss Saltmarshe last night. I asked her opinions on the macaroni cheese, but I didn’t heed the warning shut-up signs, and she got a bit aggy. Stormed off up the stairs and didn’t come down for breakfast this morning.”
“Have you been up to check on her?”
“She’s got the do-not-disturb sign on her door. I’ve heard her moving about, though, so she’s alive at least. I’m just worried that, firstly, she’s not eaten anything. And that she might be avoiding me. We’re working together on this wedding, so we need to be friends otherwise the whole thing-”
“She’s helping you with the wedding?”
“Mm-hmm.” Kivi sighed, unable to meet Eva’s eyes.
“Is that a good idea? She’s a busy woman, and she seems… mercurial, at the best of times.”
“What gave you that impression? You hardly know her, and she’s never been anything less than charming to you.”
“I Googled her,” Eva said nonchalantly. “After she arrived. She’s a very good writer, but she has a reputation for being a bit… a bit of a bitch.”
Kivi suddenly remembered what Saskia had said the other night. About having ‘gotten away with murder’ at her old job. And when she’d first arrived. About ‘trying to be less of a bitch’.Oh shit. What have I let myself in for?
And yet… something inside her fluttered. Something not quite in her belly, but lower down.Oh SHIT.
“You fancy her, don’t you?” Eva was one step ahead, as always. But Kivi wasn’t going to give herthatsatisfaction. Not when she’d scarcely realised it herself.
“No I donot,” she said indignantly. “I don’t fall for every single hot woman that comes through these doors.”
