But it was not quite enough, and she knew it, and she did not want to be delicate about it.
“Thomas,” she called, inhaling as he stopped suddenly. “I need – you can be rougher. I won't break, darling.”
He paused, his expression uncertain. “I do not want to hurt you.”
“You won't,” she smiled a little, meeting his eyes again steadily. “I know you won't. This... isn’t enough. I want you to feel good as well.”
Something shifted in his expression then – her trust being received as the invaluable thing it was. He held her gaze for a moment longer, and then he moved, and the restraint he had been holding fell away, and Jane stopped thinking about anything at all.
He was reaching deeper, stroking her walls with each thrust that left her feeling so full, she could scarcely breathe. It was so hot, the sheen of sweat on their skin making the sensations feel a lot more severe as his fingers slipped and slid over her hips before he tightened his grip to hold her just right, bringing her to meet each roll of his hips.
Jane could feel her control weakening as pleasure built again and from the tight expression on his face, she knew he was close as well.
“Oh, my love,” he panted, moving faster. “So beautiful – I'm so fortunate to have you, my treasure.”
One last rough, hard thrust toppled them over and they came apart together, their moans mingling in the heavy air between them. Jane’s nerves felt as though they were on fire, and she arched off the bed, her chest heaving as she settled back against the sheets.
She winced as he pulled out of her and lay next to her, pulling her close to his chest immediately, as though he could not bear to be apart for a moment longer.
“I am blessed,” he murmured, his voice alight with wonder. “Profoundly, impossibly blessed to have you as my wife. I love you, Jane. I need you to know it – not once, but as many times as you will let me say it.”
She smiled against his chest, reaching up to cup his face tenderly with her hand.
“You may say it as often as you like,” she told him. “I intend to say it back.”
He pressed another kiss into her hair.
“Good,” he murmured. “I was rather hoping you would.”
She turned her face up toward his. “You are my blessing as well, Thomas. I never imagined – I had decided long ago that I would live without this. Without any of it. And I was so certain that I was right. Now... I cannot imagine now how I thought I could manage it. How I thought a life without you in it was something I could want.”
He held her closer and she tucked her face into his neck, allowing the peaceful warmth between them and the feeling of his steady heartbeat against her chest lull her to sleep.
The morning arrived gently, with its soft rays quietly slipping through the half-closed drapes, and Jane was not yet fully awake when she heard the door.
She did not have time to be properly alarmed before Reuben appeared at the foot of the bed, already dressed, his dark hair mused as though he had barely permitted his nanny to take it. Hie eyes were bright with delight as he saw her.
“Papa, you convinced her –” he began eagerly as he stepped closer.
“Reuben,” Thomas had sat bolt upright, sounding frazzled and confused.
Jane’s mind had finally caught up reality and she realized the reason for her husband’s reaction, tugging the covers up where they had slipped, barely covering her hips and backside, up to her chin. Luckily, the front of her body had been tucked protectively into Thomas’ larger frame and he had shielded her from her son’s innocent gaze.
There was a moment of extraordinary silence as the parents wondered what they would do with their child.
“Reuben –Christ,” Thomas started as he extracted himself from bed at surprising speed after making sure Jane was concealed properly. “Outside, please. Right now. Give us a moment.”
Reuben blinked at the ceiling with the serene innocence of a child who still did not understand what he had walked into, which was, Jane reflected in her breathless horror, at least something to be grateful for. He did, however, appear to understand that he had caused some form of general emergency, and he accepted Thomas' steering toward the door without a fuss.
“Stay just there, all right? It’ll only take a moment,” Thomas told Reuben firmly, patting his hair fondly before he pulled the door shut.
Jane pressed both hands over her mouth as her shoulders shook with mirth, spurred by the utter disbelief of what had just happened.
Thomas returned to her side, retrieved a dressing gown from the back of a chair, and helped her into it with hands that were only slightly unsteady.
“Not a word,” he mumbled.
“I haven't said anything,” she pointed out, schooling her expression to a serious one.
