He could hardly describe just how it felt to be without her now. It was as though he was missing a vital part of himself, and there was no hope of reclaiming it. His life felt bleak – even more so than it had been previously and he was not sure he could find a way to bring himself to live properly.
She would want that, for both he and Reuben to thrive somehow. But he could not picture a future without her. Perhaps that was not fair to his son, but he could tell that Reuben felt the same.
Edward sighed, shaking his head slightly as he spoke.
“I understand how you feel, my friend, but you need to think of what to do next – for the sake of your son at least –”
The door to his study burst open suddenly and the housekeeper walked in, her eyes wild as she bowed hastily.
“My apologies for the intrusion, Your Grace. It was important and – well – it’s the little lord, Your Grace. He’s gone.”
Thomas felt his heart sink and he rose to his feet immediately. “Gone? What do you mean he’s gone? What happened?”
Mrs Greene wrung her apron between her hands, her eyes looking wet as they darted between the men.
“Well, he had been looking rather sad these days, so we made it a point of duty to escort him on short walks – even if it was just indoors, in order to not have him confined to his room. One of the maids was walking with him, and she said he looked a tad hungry so she told him to wait while she fetched him a biscuit from the kitchen. When she returned, he was nowhere in sight. She informed me and we began to look for him but... it has been nearly forty minutes, Your Grace. We’ve searched every corner of the estate, but he simply is nowhere to be found,” she explained, her voice shaking.
Thomas’ mind began to spin as panic settled into his bones.
This was his fault. If he had paid more attention to Reuben – if he had tried harder to hold onto the boy and comfort him, instead of drowning in his own sorrows, this would not have happened.
“Search the estate again. Have some maids search the rooms in the house and lock up each one they have searched one they have confirmed that he is not inside. Ask the footmen to search the grounds. I will join them there,” he instructed, trying to remain calm.
The housekeeper nodded, then she hesitated for a moment.
“And t-the duchess? Shall we inform her? Perhaps she would be able to help –”
“No,” Thomas said curtly. “We should not bring such concerns to her. Let her live her life peacefully.”
“But Your Grace –”
“Do as I say!” Thomas snapped at her angrily.
Mrs Greene scurried away quickly and Thomas moved as well, headed for the door, irritated when Edward held him back.
“Hell’s bells – what it now? My child is missing! I do not have time –”
“I know, but you need to calm yourself. You are upset and worried but you will not be much help unless you think of this problem objectively. Are you certain it would not be better to fetch your duchess? She might have an idea of where he might be,” Edward pointed out.
Thomas could hardly disagree with the logic of that suggestion, but he had to fix this himself. He was responsible for this problem, so it was only expected that he worked to rectify it himself.
“There is no need to do that. I will find him myself,” he said firmly. “You can either help, or stay out of my way.”
Edward sighed tiredly, muttering something to himself that Thomas knew for certain was a curse upon him, before he nodded ahead of them.
“Fine, then. Lead the way.”
“Out of all the miseries and plagues I could have been struck by, I had the misfortune of being punished with a fool of a daughter. What could I have done to deserve such cruelty?”
Jane fought hard not to tell her father that perhaps it was his tasteless and vile attitude, in addition to his abject refusal to keep his attention on his own affairs that had rewarded him with such a fate. Unfortunately, after a week of listening to his rage-fueled complaints, she had come to understand it was better to let him say his piece and tire himself out.
“I have never imagined that such a nitwit could exist. You had everything you could ever want in that marriage. A title and he did not require an heir from you. But, like the blithe I have always known that you are, you went forward and ruined it all with your own hands! Know this, girl – I have no intention of housing a spinster!” Arthur snapped, wagging a finger in her face.
“You do not have to, father,” Jane sighed, wondering why she had to listen to his rambling when she had better things to do.
Like miss the warmth of her husband’s touch and the sweet smile of her son.
But... they were never hers. And they never would be. That life was behind her.
