It did not surprise her that her father had begun to resort to such methods in a bid to give her away in marriage. If anything, she was surprised it had taken him this long to decide that this was how he would handle the matter.
After all, she had pushed away two potential suitors and waved away the others that had attempted to encroach her interest. Jane could tell that Arthur was growing rather frustrated with her.
But what hurt her the most was her mother’s intent to continue supporting her husband rather than her child. Jane had watched Harriet side with Arthur countless times, ignoring what she wanted or begged for. And it always left a cut in her heart, each one deeper than the last.
Jane detested her mother’s constant preference of her father’s opinions over Jane’s feelings and it only ever served to devastate her spirit.
“Well, look who it is. Lady Jane Fenwell. What a surprise to see you without your usual company.”
The voice addressing her caused her to stop, although she did not wish to and she sighed as she turned around to face one of the last people, she had any desire to see.
“Lady Cynthia, good evening,” Jane said through gritted teeth, lacking the strength to be anything but stiffly cordial.
She hoped pretending not to know what the other girl meant would convince her to leave Jane be, but if anything, it only irked her.
“My apologies, Lady Jane. I seem to have caught you unawares. I simply had to extend my sympathy to you, because you seemed rather lonely. It must be devastating, is it not? Being the only one out of your quaint little group to be without a husband? I'd heard that you had hoped to find love match. Do you think such lofty ideals will get you what you desire?” Lady Cynthia asked, her voice dripping with malice despite the serene smile.
It was clear Cynthia meant to make her feel bad because her two closest and only friends had gotten married, while she still had no prospects. It was almost amusing to Jane, how everyone seemed to hold the assumption that she cared deeply enough about such matters to feel haunted by it.
Her father constantly shamed her for it, telling her that she brought him shame and disappointment, and her mother did what she had always done – she stood with Jane’s father, echoing his sentiment.
If anything, Jane was tired of it all. She wished for nothing more than to be left alone.
“I think it is rather humorous,” Cynthia continued, unaware that Jane was only half listening. “How noble you always acted. You looked as though you expected a prince to sweep you off your feet after declaring his love for you and then you both would ride off into the sunset together. I am sure it must sadden you greatly, to be so undesired. Not only did the duke of Westerdale choose your friend over you, but it would seem he had ruined your chances of ever finding love. No man would want to comeclose to a woman who has already been discarded by such a respectable gentleman.”
Jane was silent for a moment, then she shook her head.
“I am sorry, Lady Cynthia. I had no idea that you were having such a hard time too.”
The lady frowned, clearly taken aback by Jane’s words.
“I – what do you mean? What are you apologizing for?”
Jane willed as much innocence into her expression as she could muster, hoping to appear as pitying as possible.
“Well, I never would have expected you to try and seek me out in search for camaraderie. Please know that you have my best wishes and support, Lady Cynthia. Perhaps if you focused your attention somewhere other than me, you will finally attain the life you had always desired.”
It would seem Penelope’s rather brash attitude has finally rubbed off on me,Jane thought as the words left her mouth.It is a shame though, that she is not here to see it.
Cynthia looked taken aback by Jane’s words, which seemed a like a good time as any to make her swift escape.
“It was lovely, as always, to see you, lady Cynthia. I am sure your time is better spent elsewhere, so I shall take my leave. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”
Without giving the other woman time to respond, Jane walked away from her briskly ignoring the twinge of loneliness in her heart. It was hard to overlook that she was truly alone now that her friends had both found spouses with whom they were eager to spend the rest of their days with.
Jane was happy for them, thankful that her dearest companions had men who had their best interests at heart and had vowed to care for them with everything they had. But a part of her longed for the comfort they gave her with their presence.
Nora’s kind understanding and Penelope’s protective stubbornness always eased away her worries whenever she was overwhelmed. Now that they were occupied with their husbands and new homes, Jane could not bring herself to burden them with her matters that felt so insignificant in comparison to the lives they hoped to build.
Around her, the other guests continued to dance and converse, their merriment obvious in their carefree countenance. From the corner of her eye, she saw a gentleman speaking to a young woman, his stance confidence as he mentioned all his prospects. It was clear he hoped to appeal to her as the best suitable match, but his gaze was more purposeful than affectionate.
Even still, the woman before him appeared to be completely besotted with him.
With a sigh, Jane turned her face away as she walked to the balcony, reminding herself that her predicament meant she could not afford to pity anyone else.
The night air was crisp and cool as she stepped away from the bustling ballroom. Jane exhaled as the noise that had surrounded her seemed to fade away to a hum, and she wished she could remain in this moment forever.
Just by herself, far from the expectations of her father and the disappointment of her mother.
